3pm: Spurs linked with new Brazilian wonderkid

Just hours after news emerged of a new, hitherto undiscovered tribe living on the borders of Brazil and Peru , Spurs' sporting director Damien Comolli announced that the club were in talks to sign one of its 16 year-old members on a five-year deal.

"We know he has the talent, but we also know he is only 16, so we will not rush him," said Comoli this morning.

"He will have time to develop and will be working within a very talented development squad."

Obviously the lad in question has no concept of modern, civilised society - so he shouldn't have any trouble adjusting to conditions in North London.

That's if he doesn't turn Spurs down for a club on the continent first, of course.