Top 10 things we learned from Germany 4-0 Argentina

By Dan Silver in 2010 World Cup Blog

Published 17:20 03/07/10

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Germany followed up their trouncing of England in the last round with an equally impressive thrashing of Argentina in the quarters. But what did we learn, asks MirrorFootball's Dan Silver ?

1) Germany versus Argentina is the ultimate lose-lose fixture for most England fans,for whom picking a favourite from the two sides is akin to choosing between cat pooh and dog pooh. Yes, they would have enjoyed seeing Maradona humilated so, but think how much better could have been had the game ended with a long, agonisingly drawn-out penalty shoot-out... after which both teams somehow lost.

2) What's the Argentinean for 'glass cannon'? As far back as their first game we were expressing grave concerns about their defensive qualities . Maradona might well have the best attackers in world football at his disposal, but the inescapable truth is that you won't progress too far at the World Cup finals without a decent defence...

3) Earlier in the week we showed you a clip of Maradona at a post-match press conference confusing Germany debutant Thomas Mueller with a ballboy . Presumably, having watched the fearsomely talented youngster tear his Argentinean side a new one today, that's one mistake Diego won't make again...

4) Has anyone in history ever looked forward to World Cups more than Miroslav Klose? Not only is he now just one shy of the competition's all-time scoring leader Ronald, but he has also scored more goals at the 2010 World Cup (4) than he did in the Bundesliga all season (4). Truly he is the anti-Wayne Rooney.

5) Poor the Lionel Messi: yet another superstar forward much heralded before the start of the World Cup but whom resolutely failed to trouble the scorers in South Africa. Still, never mind - at least he'll be in contention should Nike attempt another 'Write the future'-style advert ...

6) Perusing the Argentinean bench, we couldn't help but notice that Argentina striker Sergio Aguero has his nickname 'Kun' printed on the back of his shirt. This is blatant favoritism by FIFA. As such, the campaign to allow Emile Heskey to have 'Donkey' on the back of his starts here!

7) For all those unable to understand the fuss over Luis Suarez's paltry one-match ban, consider this: the Uruguyan deliberately handballed to prevent a goal that would have knocked his team out of the World Cup and received a one match ban. Germany's Thomas Muller, meanwhile, commits two minor infringements over the course of FIVE games and gets the same punishment. And that's justice?

8) What now for Diego Maradona? Will he nobly fall on his sword like Carlos Dunga, or decide a whopping great salary is actually more important than doing the decent thing, like Fabio Capello? One thing we're pathetically grateful for is that we've been spared the prospect of seeing the tubby Argentinean run naked through the streets of Buenos Aries.

9) And so England's best result of the tournament comes almost a full week after the team was eliminated from it. Suddenly that 4-1 loss doesn't seem so bad, does it? After all - at least we scored a goal against the Germans. Oh, alright, TWO goals.

10) At last we can definitively answer that perennial question, who ate all the pies? Waddle forward Leonardo DiCaprio. Apparently he only turned up at the game to get the number of Diego Maradona's tailor...

What did you learn from the game? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

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