What are the odds Becks returns to the Premier League? Derek McGovern's Bets of the Day

How can FIFA possibly dispel lingering allegations of bribery and corruption when England are ranked fourth-best team in the world?

The rankings are worked out scientifically by the same boffins who tell us coffee is bad for us one year and then good for us the year after.

Tuesday’s opponents Wales are 117th in the world behind the likes of Benin (83), Cape Verde Islands (72) and, unbelievably, Libya at 64.

Isn’t it astonishing to think a country almost under mob rule can be as high as four in the world?

It means we’re better than Brazil, Argentina, Italy and Portugal - at least between World Cups.

Hills offer just 11-8 for England to line up against Montenegro next month with the same starting XI that faced Wales.

That’s not going to happen. Steven Gerrard will walk back into the team and so will Rio Ferdinand - unless his back goes while walking.

Whether there’s room for Frank Lampard is another question entirely, especially given the rate at which he’s growing.

England are 33-1 with Hills to be crowned kings of Euro 2012 with a 100 per cent record in the finals.

No, the ‘0’ on my keyboard is not playing up. It really is 33-1, and Wayne Rney is 33-1 as well to net a hat-trick in the final qualifier against Mntenegr.

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What can you say about David Beckham that hasn’t already been said?

If you know the answer get in touch with Hello! - they’re looking for a new angle.

The word doing the rounds is that Hollywood’s most inked is pondering a move to the Premier League.

QPR are thought to be on the verge of swooping for the former England captain and that would be a sensational story. Nobody imagined it was possible to step down in class once leaving LA Galaxy.

Rangers could attract Beckham because of the London base it offers him. There’s also the lure of Shepherd’s Bush market for Victoria.

Hills go 5-6 that he joins Rangers and 5-6 that he doesn’t. Becks is so undecided that he’s backed both.

They go 4-7 that he plays in the Premier League this season – the worst price you’ll see until whatever is paid to buy him.

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Following interviews for the post of Met Police Commissioner, William Hill make Stephen House their 5-4 favourite to get the gig.

Presumably they’ve heard the police want to keep the appointment in-House.

As chief constable of Scotland’s largest force, House reduced the crime rate in one of Britain’s toughest areas where others before him have been beaten up.

Among his predecessors only Taggart emerged with more credit. You can’t knock 11 Premier League titles.

House warned Rangers and Celtic players that they faced arrest “as a last resort” if violence or abuse took place on the pitch. Since then violence and abuse have scarcely been seen at either Parkhead or Ibrox. Nor has decent football.

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Bet of the Day

Pringles cans are made that way for a reason. If your hand doesn’t fit, it’s time to stop.

Take 8-5 that Preston are leading at both half-time and full-time against Yeovil tonight.

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