What are the odds Stuart Pearce will manage England at Euro 2012? Derek McGovern's Bets of the Day
Well, if that was his job interview then Stuart Pearce will have heard those dreaded words: "we'll get back to you"
It was the worst job application since I made the mistake of asking my interviewers if they ever pressed charges.
They did, they were the police.
England had originally been scheduled to play Holland last August but the match was postponed when Londoners started running riot. Pearce was praying Wednesday's match would go the same way once the Dutch started running riot.
The FA have tried the lot when it comes to managing the national side.
We've had the patriotic tub-thumper in Kevin Keegan, the scholarly slut in Sven, the cor-blimey barrow boy in El Tel, and the over-promoted vegetable in Graham Taylor but all were found wanting. And what they were wanting most was a pay-off.
Now it's Pearce's turn in charge even though it's hard to think of a man less suited to international management apart from the last four England bosses, and also the next four.
What we saw on Wednesday should make us fear the worst for the Euros. Luckily we already did.
The caretaker boss looked haunted for most of Wednesday's match. He wore the expression of a man asked by a ladyfriend to hold her handbag.
His one decisive act was to hand Scott Parker, rather than Steven Gerrard, the captain's armband, so alienating the one player who'd get in the Dutch team.
Parker called it his greatest moment in football since those back-garden keepy-uppys in the McDonald's ad, and he celebrated it by doing what he does best – spending 90 minutes passing the ball sideways or backwards to someone who knew what to do with it, usually a Dutchman.
When Parker was skipper of Charlton and West Ham he got both sides relegated and, if we're not careful, he'll do the same to England.
In recent years the captain's armband has been treated in the same way as a pair of WAG's knickers, flung from player to player after approximately 20 minutes of action.
But Gerrard is a born captain and I would urge his England team-mates, if he is not reunited with the armband by Euro 2012, to all go out on the pitch wearing Stevie G T-shirts. They'd look more becoming than those WAG knickers.
Pearce's odds to be manager at Euro 2012 have drifted from 2-1 to 5-1 with Hills, who make Harry Redknapp the 1-6 favourite.
Gerrard is 7-4 to be skipper for the Euro opener against France, with Parker the 4-6 favourite and Joe Hart 4-1. There are also odds for Ashley Cole, Gareth Barry and Rio Ferdinand but little point in mentioning them.
are 2-1 with Hills to fail to get out of their group. If clueless Psycho is still in charge they will struggle to get out of their hotel.
Euro 2012 winner (Hills): 9-4 Spain, 3-1 Germany, 7-1 Holland, 8-1 England, 14-1 Italy, France, 20-1 Portugal, Russia, 40-1 bar.
BET OF THE DAY
SNOWFLAKES are one of nature's most fragile things but look what they can do when they stick together.
Get on Blackpool at 5-4 to beat Hull tonight (Friday)