What are the odds Wenger is the next sports personality to have eye surgery? Derek McGovern's Bets of the Day

By Derek McGovern in Betting Blog

Published 22:00 26/01/12

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Manchester United keeper David De Gea is set to have laser surgery to improve his eyesight.

He was met with looks of incredulity when he requested the op.

By mistake he’d gone into the butcher, next door to the optician.

The Spanish doughnut hopes that after the ­operation he will be able to more clearly see ­opposition crosses and supermarket check-outs.

De Gea has asked experts to fix his eyesight so well that after the op he’ll be able to see United winning a trophy this season.

Told that the op would cost him £30,000, he complained, “That’s ridiculous.”

“You started it,” he was told.

De Gea has had blurred vision but, with ­Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes in the same dressing room, he doesn’t know whether that’s a complaint or a comfort.

Bookies Paddy Power are betting on the next sports personality to have eye surgery, with former world darts champion Phil Taylor the 7-4 favourite.

Arsene Wenger is next at 4-1, but won’t have the op if he has to pay for it.

When I first started wearing glasses it didn’t take long for the name-calling to begin.

“Four Eyes, Speccy etc.”

I told them I would never visit their optician again.

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BET OF THE DAY

This week, I watched a documentary on the various uses of a pick-axe.

It was ground-breaking stuff.

Get on Fulham at 3-1 to win their FA Cup fourth-round tie at Everton.

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Ladbrokes offer 16-1 that ­invisibility technology becomes a reality, but I just can’t see it.

Scientists say they are closing in on the ability to achieve ­invisibility, but I doubt their words.

It makes me wonder if it’s just a way for them to get paid without turning up for work, which in turn makes me wonder why they didn’t just ask me.

It was rumoured that the Russians created an invisible man in the 1960s.

Friends say he went on to settle down and bring up invisible kids but they were nothing to look at. One of them is believed to be Andrey Arshavin.

If I was invisible, the Celebrity Big Brother twins would think their beds were haunted.

It’s 50-1 for any sporting event to be investigated by authorities for use of an invisibility device – such as Roberto Mancini’s red card and Wigan’s home crowd at the DW Stadium.

Ladbrokes offer evens for a Nobel Prize to be awarded before 20-20 to scientists researching invisibility.

It’s the same price that nobody sees whoever picks up the award.

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Men and women have been in troubled relationships since time began.

Adam and Eve had their ups and downs and they didn’t even have a date. They had an apple.

I’m no expert on these matters – I’m no expert on betting either – but that won’t stop me giving my twopenneth on the Katy Perry and Russell Brand split.

Before his wedding to KP, Brand was having sex with a different woman every day and there’s a term for men like that. I’m pretty sure it’s ‘lucky b******s’.

But relationships change once you’re married – unlike underpants.

Monogamy was never going to suit someone such as Brand – he thought that’s something dining-room tables are made of.

With KP unfollowing her former hubby on Twitter, Ladbrokes offer 4-6 for Brand to reciprocate before the end of January.

That looks a certainty – Brand’s favourite word.

And newly-single Katy is now 8-1 from 12-1 with Hills to be a judge on this year’s X Factor.

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