L'ump on Lyon to leave Liverpool and Rafa Benitez reeling at a formidable 4-1
The last thing Rafa Benitez wants to see right now is another red orb - which is bad luck because in six days' time Fergie comes calling.
The Sunderland goal which killed off Liverpool’s title challenge on Saturday was assisted by an inflatable beach ball - silencing those who doubted the wisdom of signing Andy Reid.
Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina regrets not moving the beach ball, Glen Johnson regrets not hoofing it, and Phil Brown regrets not signing it.
It was such an accomplished finish that John Toshack is now checking on the beach-ball’s nationality while Danielle Lloyd was last night pictured canoodling with it.
The furore over Balloongate has been blown out of all proportion. True, what we saw at the Stadium Of Light was a freakish sight but Steve Bruce has had enough stick about that hooter and we should now leave him well alone.
FA rules stipulate a goal must be ruled out if it comes off an inanimate object, meaning the dubious-goals committee could scrub out Darren Bent's effort on Saturday and the one Emile Heskey once scored..
The debatable inflatable is now on the short-list for the Balloon d'Or along with Messi, Ronaldo, Branson and that six-year-old in the States.
Beach balls are not my favourite toys because I shudder whenever I have to go on a beach. This harks back to the time a mate advised me, if I wanted to really impress the girls on a foreign holiday, to stuff a potato down my swimming trunks. How was I to know he meant the front?
Liverpool are 10-3 to beat both Lyon tonight and Manchester United at the weekend. You will realise how bad a bet that is when you learn that Lyon are longer odds (4-1) merely to win tonight. The English word to describe that is 'unmissable.' The French word is l'ump on.
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