Manchester United are in a real state, much of it down to Nani

By Derek McGovern in Betting Blog

Published 22:30 04/11/09

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Bookies reckon cash-strapped Manchester United will follow the golden rule of housekeeping when times are hard - ditch the Nani.

Fergie's over-hyped over-the-hill mob are in urgent need of an overhaul - only Georgia in the last 10 years has given Russians an easier ride than United did on Tuesday - and bookies Paddy Power are betting on which Old Trafford flop will be moved on first, with Nani the 2-1 favourite.

Critics say Nani has achieved little since joining United for £14million but they are forgetting what has to be one of the greatest feats of any footballer - making the £32m spent on Dimitar Berbatov look not quite so laughable.

I remember our nanny demanding a pay rise because she was a better cook than the missus. "Who told you that?" the missus asked. "Your husband," she said, adding: "And I'm a better cleaner. Your husband told me. And I'm better in bed." The missus reacted angrily. "Did my husband tell you that too?" she spat. "No," the nanny said. "The milkman did."

The Nani fan club has only one member - Shrek - but the Portuguese box of tricks should not cop all the flak for United's shortcomings..

Michael Carrick (£18.5m), Luis Antonio Valencia (£16m) and of course Berba (£32m, ho-ho) were bought for the most inflated prices since Jordan's bazoomas and have proved that a huge fee is no guarantee of quality goods, while Paul Scholes has declined quicker than even Bardot did.

We could very well be witnessing the start of serious Old Trafford decline -  in all honesty that would disappoint me because I tipped it to start a year ago - which is perhaps why some serious punters have been licking their lips at the 11-10 quoted for Chelsea in the Stamford Bridge title showdown on Sunday.

The two safest United players, according to Power, are Wayne Rooney (28-1 to be flogged first) and Edwin van der Sar (33-1). Rooney because who could afford him? Van der Sar because, after Tuesday, who would want him?