Chants of the season

Football Banter 21:26 03/06/09

Football fans know the real wags are still at the stadiums, not in the beauty salons. Here are some of the best chants of the season Man United fan... Read more+

It's the 3PM end of season awards, the 3PMEMMYS if you will

Football Banter 11:19 01/06/09

Have a last laugh over the daftest and dumbest moments of the 2008/09 season as we dish out football's least-coveted awards... THE 3PEMMYS. The week... Read more+

Tear we go to Newcastle infamy

Football Banter 10:59 25/05/09

The teary-eyed Newcastle fan caught blubbing by Sky Sports clearly hadn't read excellent Toon website NUFC.com before travelling to Aston Villa. It ... Read more+

Wicked whistles...

Already getting depressed at a long summer without football? Spend some time trying to work out the famous names behind these stories... *Which Prem... Read more+

Barnett holds his hands up over Liverpool banner blunder

Thanks and commiserations to Liverpool fan Barnett Davis, who contacted 3PM to admit being the creator of the fate-tempting Liverpool banner from 19... Read more+

Chant of the week

Next week we'll be revealing the Pukka Pies Chant Of The Season, so send the funniest one you heard during the long campaign to steve.anglesey@mirro... Read more+

Bravest man in the world...

To the fire-and-brimstone preacher outside Wembley yesterday who delighted Millwall fans by telling them that unless they gave up their "drunkenness... Read more+

Celtic fans sock it to Rangers rivals

Expect large consignments of orange socks to start turning up on market stalls in the blue half of Glasgow soon. After Rangers fans discovered their... Read more+

Best joke of the season (unless you're a Liverpool fan)

Q: Why are Liverpool like the Four Musketeers? A: They won four-one and won f**k all Read more+

Well, Liverpool fans thought it was a good idea at the time...

Here's a famous Liverpool banner from 1994. Doesn't look quite so clever now. Read more+

John Carew drops a clanger

A magnificent return to form by Aston Villa's John Carew. Not only did he score at Middlesbrough yesterday, but the striker received a huge cheer at... Read more+

Phill Jupitus hits the right note at West Ham gala dinner

West Ham held their end-of-season gala dinner in London's swanky event and conference centre The Brewery last week. Host Phill Jupitus opened procee... Read more+

Tosser in Toon

There are few laughs around Newcastle United at the moment, but one of Mike Ashley's entourage did the job with his new team shirt on Saturday. In a... Read more+

Now Joey Barton can sling his hook

Sunday might be the final day of the Premier League season but 3PM's fixture of the week comes on Friday night, when Chelsea and Spurs legends are l... Read more+

Daft quotes of the week

"I've got four words for you: Coppell for QPR. Hang on, that's not right. I'll check it... six words" - RONNIE IRANI "The tension is palatable" - M... Read more+

Pies for chants

A special mention to all of you who nominated Manchester United's Rafa-baiting "Champions/And that's a fact" on Saturday, but Brian Simmons wins thi... Read more+

Wicked Whistle

Which team got special treatment when they held a celebration in a top London hotel? The party ended with cleaners finding a member of staff in a pl... Read more+

Sunderland goalkeeper Marton Fulop likes a bit of Water Polo

Sunderland goalkeeper Marton Fulop's spirits were dampened this week after he told local journalists about his passion for water polo. Said the Hung... Read more+

Harry Redknapp explains why drinking is bad

Harry Redknapp's Friday press conference opened with a lengthy tirade against the drink culture in football. When a journalist finally got in a foll... Read more+

Wolves sponsor so overjoyed by promotion that he forgets which club he sponsors...

The champagne flowed freely at Wolves' endof-season dinner - perhaps a bit too freely for some. The Championship champions' pride took a dent when t... Read more+

Glenn Hoddle still worshipping at the altar of Kenny G

Could one half of the genius partnership behind Diamond Lights be coming out of musical retirement? Glenn Hoddle was spotted at London's Royal Albe... Read more+

Why did Cristiano Ronaldo buy Danny Welbeck £2.5k worth of Calvin Klein kecks?

Man Utd's Danny Welbeck shows no signs of taking up the flash lifestyle enjoyed by many of his team-mates. The youngster is being teased in the dre... Read more+

Why Gianfranco Zola's appeal has totally gone to the dogs

West Ham manager Gianfranco Zola was gutted recently when the family dog went missing. So imagine his delight when a neighbour turned up on his door... Read more+

Proof Sir Alex Ferguson doesn't know his Hart from his elbow

With squeaky bum time upon us, Sir Alex Ferguson's powers show few signs of waning. But at a recent press conference, Fergie praised the good work H... Read more+

Manchester City fans Turk their UEFA Cup exit on the chin

Manchester City fans had so much faith they would reach the UEFA Cup Final in Turkey this season that they composed a chant to the tune of hymn Give... Read more+

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