'The bench was nearer to my kids': Carlos Tevez's top 10 excuses

By Steve Anglesey in Football Banter

Published 09:48 28/09/11

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So Carlos Tevez now says it was all a misunderstanding and he did not refuse to play at Bayern last night.

No word yet on how the misunderstanding occurred... but here are our Twitter Army's suggestions at some excuses he might come up with. Join in the fun by using the hashtag #tevezexcuses

10) "Mario had promised me next go on his iPad"  (from @mirrorfootball)

9) "When Mancini said 'come on" I thought he was just doing an impression of Liam Gallagher" (@mirrorfootball)

8) "I didn't want to be the ugliest player on a pitch containing Franck Ribery" (from @jezzapug)

7) "I was shellshocked at learning that a third restaurant has opened in Manchester" (from @mirrorfootball)

6) "I didn't want the club to have to pay me my appearance fee because I already earn too much money" (from @MissLDoble)

5) "I broke my toe in training six weeks ago but kept it a secret. Here, I'll take my boot off so you can look"  (from @mirrorfootball)

4) "I was unfit... I blame Manchester United's medical staff" (from @Thanki91)

3) "He knows what my neck's like but not once has Mancini offered me a lend of his scarf" (from @mirrorfootball)

2) "I'd just received a pep-up injection from our new club doctor, Conrad Murray, when I felt all sleepy" (from @mirrorfootball)

1) "The bench was closer to my kids" (from @DiarmaidHill)

Follow @sanglesey and @MirrorFootball for more of this on a daily basis

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