Top 10 Funniest football Twitter imposters

By Rob Burnett in Football Banter

Published 12:42 03/02/10

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Ever the trendsetters, top flight footballers have now found a whole new high-tech way of causing controversy and getting themselves into trouble.

The likes of Darren Bent and Ryan Babel have already found themselves in hot water over revelations they have given to the world on Twitter.

Manchester United have banned their players from even using the site, which is probably a blessing since they've all been media trained to within an inch of their lives and would simply be posting banal entries like "going to training" or "waiting for my new Bentley to be delivered".

And now former Crystal Palace star turned BBC pundit Mark Bright has deleted his Twitter account following complaints about a John Terry chant he posted in the wake of the England skipper's affair.

Far more entertaining are the scores of Twitter accounts set up by scallywags under the guise of top football stars.

Here's MirrorFootball's top 10...

1) Phil Brown (I)
The Hull boss doesn't really need any help in looking like a berk, what with standing there on the touchline at the KC wearing a Madonna style headset and looking like he's been Tangoed, but this tweeter is having a go anyway, with hilarious results.
Top tweets: "What's it like when you're not constantly weighed down by self-hate? Being French?" and: "PB doesn't believe in learning curves. He only trusts in the straight line."

2) Phil Brown (II)
Bizarrely the Hull boss has attracted at least two imposters to pose as him on Twitter. Perhaps these people need to have a really good think about how their lives are going. Funny though.
Top tweet: "Can't wait to see myself in 3D on sky sports"

3) Paul Merson
We suspect this one might be run by the same rascal doing the first Phil Brown account given the amount of banter between the two, but it's no less amusing for that. Not for the faint hearted (or children), Merse's account is full of handy tips for life such as how to make his favourite cocktail: the cold gin. "It's gin with an ice cube in it. Ice is a mixer in my book." A room temperature gin is just gin. "Fresh air's a mixer really," he adds helpfully.
Top tweet: "Had an unnerving dream last night. I was sober and had a full set of teeth"

4) Dimitar Berbatov
The bio on this one reads: "I'm Dimitar Berbatov, Gentleman first, footballer second," and Berba is brilliantly re-imagined as a cravat wearing, Pimms drinking, cigar smoking gentleman's club member with a taste for the finer things in life.
Top tweets: "Team mates laughing at my lunch - Cheese board with quails eggs and glass of Bordeaux," and: "The only person thats RSVP'd for book club is Ji sung park, could be tricky. We read Churchill's memoirs."

5) Kai Rooney
Not technically (or, indeed, in any way) a footballer but this fake is funny so makes the list. Clearly three month old Kai has already got the better of his dad in a tense battle of wits. "Playing daddy at rock, paper, scissors. He should win, as at 2 weeks old, I can only make the rock shape............Alas Daddy went scissors!"
Top tweet: "Ben Foster's come round. Mummy asked if he'd like to hold me. Nev, Fletch and Andos all said "No" in unison."

6) Paul Scholes
There have been no new posts on this one since November - was it genuine and has Scholesy been gagged by the Manchester United banning order? We still think it's a fake though, based on his question: "is anyone watching eastenders tonight?" Surely the ginger wizard is a Corrie fan?
Top tweet: "i don't get how you work this thing why is everyone going on about it"

7) Roy Keane
Possibly another from the Paul Merson / Phil Brown stable, and just as entertaining. Extra points for great background image of Keano setting his dogs on a fleeing Mick McCarthy and suitably bizarre thoughts such as: "You know, the last person who said 'no' to me was Robert Maxwell. And we all know what happened to him."
Top tweet: "David F*****g Healy? I didn't sign him. It must have been Mrs K playing with my headed notepaper."

8) Sepp Blatter
His bio claim that he has been "making football better since 1988" may not stand up in front of a jury, but tweets like: "I best start showing up on some Follow Friday list or nobodies getting World Cup in 2018 or 2022!" show the fake Sepp has got the man's self-important attitude spot on.
Top tweet: "I'm sure we can make position Mr. Storrie. When it comes to money management, I always appreciate your recommendation."

9) Gary Caldwell
Another that's not suitable for the kids, fake Gary's account is littered with agricultural language but there are some gems in there if you take the time to wade through the profanities, like: "Supposedly Eskimo's have 1000 words for snow. Gary Caldwell has 1001," and "What superhero did Gary Caldwell dress up as for Celtics Christmas night out? That's obvious; Gary Caldwell."
Top tweet: "What's the name of the other guy from WHAM! ? See, nobody knows. That's the future that's waiting for Stephen McManus."

10) Ryan Babel
Mr ' I'm going to tell the world I've been dropped on Twitter' himself even has an imposter who, let's face it, has been somewhat upstaged by the real Ryan Babel and his Tweeting exploits. But no matter, with posts like "I need to eat. a big steak. reindeer steak. big slab of REINDEER MEAT," he's still managed to attract nearly 900 followers.
Top tweet: "busy today. doing NOTHING." Er, maybe it is the real Ryan Babel after all...

Who are your favourite fake Tweeters? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

And don't forget to follow MirrorFootball's own Twitter feed for the latest news and gossip - as well as a load of football fun stuff. Don't worry - it's genuine!

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