10 Funny things we learned from watching Everton 1-1 Chelsea starring Torres, Torres, Webb... and Torres
Chelsea took time off from trying to tempt Fernando Torres out of Anfield to put up a half-hearted defence of the FA Cup at Goodison Park. But what did we learn, asks Dan Silver?
1) Critics claim the competition has been devalued of late but there was new evidence of 'the magic of the Cup' here: the swathes of empty seats suggested about a third of Everton's fans had been made to disappear.
2) Everton are, of course, gripped by financial difficulties at the moment. In fact, times are so hard that this was rumoured to be the last time the Toffees would run out to 'Z Cars' before they downsize to 'Z Bicycles'.
3) No such worries for Chelsea, though, whose fans revelled in their latest bout of wealth flouting by chanting 'Torres give us a wave' and 'Fernando Torres, Chelsea's number nine'. Strangely, there was no sign of that other old ditty about him being a dirty Scouse ****, though.
4) The highlight of a dismal first half was seeing how long ref Howard Webb let Phil Neville get away with trying to boot Florent Malouda over the Gwladys Street Stand. In the ref's defence, he did motion to book the Everton skipper in the first-half, but Phil remembered in the nick of time to remind Webb that he used to play for Manchester United and escaped with just a warning.
5) During the half-time break, broadcasters ESPN took great delight in showing replays of Nicolas Anelka fluffing his one-on-one chance. Apparently every time they did so, Roman Abramovich added another £500,000 on to his Torres bid.
6) In fact, Roman must have been praying that the Liverpool striker is a fan of duff drama shows. That way, Torres might have been watching ITV's Rosemary & Thyme instead of Chelsea's Rubbish & Tripe performance.
7) The second-half was better, and Louis Saha's goal only served to highlight his opponents' well-documented defensive frailties. Forget excited discussions about where Torres might fit in with Drogba and Anelka - Chelsea fans should hope he can play in the centre of defence instead.
8) It was nice to see Gary Neville in the crowd - although we're not sure whether he was there to support his brother Phil or sometime team-mate Howard Webb.
9) Mounting frustration appeared to bring out the worst in Didier Drogba, who collapsed clutching his face after seemingly colliding with Marouane Fellaini's HAIR late on. Although, that said, the Belgium could be keeping anything i n there...
10) Salomon Kalou's equaliser at least ensured that £50m will be making its way from Merseyside to Stamford Bridge in the near future. Although sadly for Chelsea fans, it will be the entire Everton team on their way to a replay.
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