Football's Top 10 bling kings: Ireland's shark tank, Neville's underground house and more
They say money can't buy you happiness. Well it can't buy you taste either as the nouveau riche of the Premier League are all too frequently happy to prove.
To celebrate the latest 'must-have' addition to the footballer's crib - Stephen Ireland's kitchen floor/shark tank - MirrorFootball takes a look at what footballers spend their money on. And asks 'Why?'
10) Harry Kewell
The home of Liverpool flop Kewell and actress wife Sheree Murphy was featured on the first episode of short-lived MTV show Footballers' Cribs back in 2005.
And things got off to a flying start as the pair showed viewers the highlights of their home, including a plasma TV screen in every room, a walk-in handbag and shoe closet for Murphy and a downstairs toilet featuring 360 degree mirrored walls - presumably to ensure any visitors never make a return journey. At least Liverpool fans can be happy in the knowledge Kewell earnt every penny...
9) William Gallas
A footballer owning a flash car comes as no surprise, but the limits can always be pushed. And that's exactly what William Gallas did when he left the Emirates after a game last month.
The £350,000 McLaren Mercedes he was driving was impressive enough, never mind the chrome paint job that went with it - presumably just in case he ran out of mirrors in his house.
8) Mark Fish
Another star of the ill-fated Footballers' Cribs, Fish's crowning glory was arguably his CD collection housed in a golden Egyptian mummy with a swing door.
Unfortunately for the South African defender, some of the locals were not particularly impressed - his house was burgled soon after the show was aired.
7) Kieron Dyer
Dyer is known as one of the typical 'bling kings', a footballer whose material wealth far outweighs his professional achievements.
The contrast with the older generation became apparent when Bobby Robson revealed that after a Newcastle game at Birmingham, Dyer had asked for the bus to be turned around because he had 'left his diamond earring in the changing room'.
6) Gary Neville
As the Manchester United and England 'shop steward' you might expect Neville to be one of the few footballers to look after his money.
Try telling that to his neighbours after the planning permission for Red Nev's Teletubbies-style eco-house was submitted.
5) Stephen Ireland
The Manchester City midfielder's lack of taste has become legendary, and nothing shows it off better than his collection of cars. Having started off with a black Range Rover with pink trim, he had soon splashed out on a £100,000 Audi R8, in full Man City colours.
But all that was nothing compared to the £260,000 customised Bentley he bought for girlfriend Jessica on her 24th birthday. The 202mph GTC has been fitted with a new white bodykit which has a red line running along the wing while Ireland hasn’t left the interior alone either, specifying red and white leather seats, with the driver’s seat having the words ‘To Jess Love From Stephen’ stitched into the headrest. Class all the way.
4) El Hadji Diouf
The Blackburn front man strengthened his position as one of football's most unpopular men when he was spotted out for a drive in Manchester last October in a shiny gold Cadillac Escalade.
After that the least he could do is pay for a licence and insurance - but as he was charged for possessing neither of those documents earlier this month, it might be the case that the respray left him out of pocket.
3) Darius Vassell
Vassell's penchant for bling came to light in unfortunate circumstances when he was mugged for £23,000 worth of jewellery after the Manchester City Christmas party in 2008. You would have some sympathy, except the multi-millionaire England international was jumped, while disputing a taxi fare.
2) Djibril Cisse
Footballers can buy many things, but not a title. All except Lord Djibril Cisse.
Because when the flamboyant French forward joined Liverpool, Cisse inherited the ancient title of Lord of the Manor of Frodsham when he bought a manor house in the tiny Cheshire village.
1) Stephen Ireland... again
Ireland's taste buds struck again when it was revealed he was turning the floor of his kitchen into a giant aquarium, complete with shark.
Superman vs Jaws, it doesn't bear thinking about.