Is this Lionel Messi sex song the worst piece of music ever recorded? Plus: A truly epic keeper and striker fail

By Dan Silver in Football Banter

Published 15:16 13/05/11

Presenting quality football videos from the interweb, daily at 3pm. Here's today's (particularly strong) hat-trick.

1) You might not know her name, but chances are you'll know of Croatian pop star and WAG Nives Celzijus's extra-curricular exploits - she famously had sex with husband Dino Drpic in an empty football stadium. Well, she's back, back, back! Nives has written a song about shagging Lionel Messi - and it's a pretty strong contender for boasting the worst lyrics in the history of the world, ever. And as if lines like 'You always enter inside the goal / And I am naked / Goal, goal, score a goal!' and 'I am naked / Score it 'till it hurts...' weren't bad enough, there's her singing voice as well... Take it away, Nives. In fact, take it as far away as you can...

2) Two epic fails for the price of one from the Bolivian League, here: first there's the wobbly-legged lunacy of the La Paz keeper, and then there's the open goal missing-madness of San Jose striker Maxi Andrade. D'oh!

3) Sticking with South America, here's a fan of Mexican side Morelia really getting to grips with the, er, game. Can't really imagine Lineker, Shearer and Hansen providing such an impassioned analysis of a similar incident on Match Of The Day, mind...