10 funny things we learned from Gary Neville's retirement and Wednesday's football
So farewell then, Red Nev . But what did we learn from his departure and the rest of Wednesday's night's football, asks Steve Anglesey?
1) Gary Neville retiring is shattering news for one of his team-mates. I mean, who in the entire universe is going to be mad enough to kiss Paul Scholes now?
2) Not saying Neville is hated at Anfield, but that 2-0 win against Stoke was only Liverpool's second-best result of the evening.
3) Gary's got big plans on retirement. First is to finally grow a proper moustache.
4) Then he'll concentrate on building his Teletubbies-style house, also populated by hilarious comedy characters La-La, Noo-Noo and Bebe.
5) Gary's retirement with immediate effect has come as a surprise to anyone who's seen him play recently and thought he'd given up two years ago.
6) Things got so bad that when he turned up at Old Trafford with a holdall a few weeks back, one of the security guards asked: "What have you got in there?" When Gary jokingly replied: ''A gun and some hand grenades'', the guard said: "Thank Christ. I thought you'd brought your boots".
7) But there's talk of a coaching role at United for Gary and we can't wait for him to take one-on-one passing practices, accompanied by his popular catchphrase: "To me, to you, to me, to you".
8) Still, at least at the end of his career, Gary will be able to look in the mirror and feel good about himself. On second thoughts, bad idea...
9) Rumours are that Neville could become a Sky Sports pundit. Which would be a masterstroke if Rupert Murdoch's aim is for Liverpool fans to boycott ALL of his products.
10) But Rupert is smarter than that. Just look what's on the other side when he launches expensive new channel Sky Atlantic with Boardwalk Empire - Wigan v West Brom followed by Fulham v Newcastle. Evil genius!
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