Has Helen Chamberlain ever had sex in a football shirt? The Soccer AM star answers The Plugger's 20 questions

Published 14:54 27/11/09

You know how it is with celebrities these days - they're always trying to flog you something. Well, we thought it was about time they did something for us in return.

So, from now on, anyone wanting to hawk their wares on the pages of MirrorFootball will have to submit to an interrogation by The Plugger first.

If you want us to buy your DVD/book/video game/embossed tea-towel etc, then you need to tell us, amongst other things, if you've ever had sex in a football shirt. Seems like a fair deal, no?

First to face The Plugger is: Soccer AM host Helen Chamberlain

1) Who is the dirtiest player you've ever seen?
Any player that cheats really. I hate the divers that win penalties they didn't deserve. If I was a manager I'd fine any player that didn't stay on his feet. I'd rather lose the game and my job than pay a cheat.

2) What team do you have an irrational hatred of?
None. I'm a lover not a hater!

3) What's the weirdest place you've ever watched a game of football?
The end of season post-show kickabout at Sky. It was skins v shirts so we raided our cupboard and people were playing in signed Premier League shirts. It was about 38-a-side and guest Ian Holloway stood in the middle of the pitch bawling his side out like it was an FA Cup final.

4) If you could change one thing about the game, what would you change?
I'd make everyone's name easy to pronounce...

5) Have you ever had a man-crush on a player?
[Soccer AM co-host] Max is totally in love with Dion Dublin! Mind you, if the rumours are true then I don't blame him...

6) If all the current Premier League managers had a cage fight, who would be the last man standing?
Tony Pulis. He wouldn't even have to fight - he'd just stand there and look at the rest of them.

7) Who is the Don of football commentators and pundits?
Martin Tyler for the 2002 FA Cup final ("Di MatteOWWWWW!) or that Liverpool Champions League goal against Olympiakos ("GERRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRDDDD!!!!").

8) What's the weirdest dream you've ever had about football?
That I played for England. I was lined up next to Les Ferdinand. They all knew I was rubbish, but it was OK, I was allowed to be rubbish. Sadly it was all about the build up to a game. I didn't actually get to score the winning World cup goal.

9) If you had your own football team, what would their nickname be?
Dunno - but whatever it was I'd make sure it was so complex no one could make a shit fur-fabric fecking mascot out of the name.

10) What's your keepy-up record?
It really winds me up I can't do keepy-ups. I'm no good at video games either. I end up chasing the control all over the room.

11) Have you ever cried watching a football match?
At the 1998 play off final, when Torquay lost to Colchester. I was OK til Barry Fry saw me sat on the floor in the bar at Wembley. He hauled me to my feet and bear-hugged me - I bawled like a baby.

12) Have you ever lied to your partner to go and watch football?
A bloke I'd only been dating a few weeks invited me to his best friend's wedding. I pied it to bugger off to watch Torquay play. I just didn't show up. Next day he pushed a note under my door saying, "I KNOW you went to football, you bitch." I never saw him again.

13) Who's the biggest **** in football?
Paul Raynor cheated against Torquay in the 1994 play off semi-final second leg. We were 2-0 up from the fist leg and scored first at Deepdale. Raynor tussled with Darren Moore and fooled the ref into thinking he'd been punched in the eye. Moore was sent off. Preston scored the fourth goal they needed in extra time. Never forgive, never forget.

14) What are your football superstitions?
If Torquay played over two legs and won the first, I'd wear exactly the same clothes for the second leg. It didn't work so I stopped doing it...

15) What's the best goal you've ever scored?
At the Soccer Sixes at Anfield. I picked the ball up outside the area, ran the length of the (5-a-side) pitch and smashed it into the roof of the net. In my mind I looked liked Ian Rush, although I probably looked more like something that had just been born.

16) What's the worst away trip you've ever been on?
Carlisle away on a Tuesday night. We lost 5-1 and I missed the 1! I was late getting back to my seat from half time and Garry Nelson scored. The thing is, there were only 11 of us there so I heard no cheer. I had no idea we'd scored!

17) What goal have you celebrated the most?
Torquay 1-0 Exeter, Martin Gritton, 28.

18) Have you ever supported another team from the one you support now?
I followed Liverpool as a kid at school because my best friend did. My mum did take me to Anfield when I was about 12 - I thought the place was the eighth wonder of the world. However, after a few lost teenage years when I was more interested in boys, discos and handbags I ended up in Torquay and found the mecca that is Plainmoor

19) What is the king of football food?
I've never eaten from a kiosk at a football match. I'm a vegetarian, we aren't well catered for..

20) And finally, has a football kit ever featured in your intimate moments?
No!

Helen Chamberlain was plugging her new DVD Soccer AM IIII - The Greatest Team In The World , in which the Soccer AM Team select, er, the greatest team in the world. Available to buy now!

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