Brave new world! 10 things Fergie might notice are different about the Europa League
Manchester United will open their account in the much maligned Europa League against Ajax in Amsterdam today.
The shock to the system seems to have affected Fergie's memory when he said, ""I think it's amazing that, in the 55 years we've been involved in Europe, we've never played Ajax. When you think of all the draws that have been made, we've never drawn them."
Erm, aside from the 1976 UEFA Cup game that saw United return to Europe after seven years and is widely remembered as one of the greatest atmospheres ever experienced at Old Trafford that is.
Anyway, without a hint of sarcasm, Fergie insists his side 'seriously' wants to win the competition - once derided as 'Micky Mouse' by United supporters after Liverpool won it in as the UEFA Cup in 2001.
The Champions League it ain't and there are a few differences that will force Fergie to have a reality check in Europe's second tier tournament...
1) Money matters
The Glazers can forget about lowering the huge debt they've laden on the club this season. Whereas United received £46.7m for reaching the Champions League Final last season (even more than winners Barcelona due to more lucrative deals for English clubs), the Europa League winners Porto only reaped £6.9m - barely enough to keep Wayne Rooney in new hair products.
2) Taking the fifth
As Ashley Cole will gladly remind the Manchester clubs
, Europa League games are played Thursday nights and aired on the home of cut-price reality TV, Channel 5. This not only means that Fergie won't be able to rely on Sky pundit Gary Neville's one-sided assessment but he'll be forced to spend his Sundays catching up on the Premier League, instead of getting under his wife's feet.
3) Swimming with minnows
While United will have been used to pitting their wills in glamour ties against the likes of Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Inter Milan, they will not even be playing the best of the rest when they meet the minnows of Europe. Tricky travels to football outposts such as Viktoria Plzen, Wisla Krakow or the mighty FC Metalist Kharkiv are unlikely to get the pulses running.
4) Singing to a different tune
There's nothing so inspiring, for players and fans alike, as hearing the opening strands of London's Royal Philharmonic Orchestra belting out the Handel inspired Champions League anthem. United players are going to have to swap 'Zardok the Priest' for what sounds like the theme tune for an 80s TV show, possibly involving a super helicopter of some sort.
5) Having a more 'selective' appeal
United are going to struggle to expand their worldwide brand since crowds in the Europa League are closer to what you might find in Wigan on a wet afternoon. Average viewing figures for the competition were 1.4million last season while the Champions League Final reached a global audience of 300million. And, while Wembley drew a gate of 87,695 to watch United play Barcelona, the Europa League Final in Dublin only managed 45,391.
6) Fixture congestion
If they are going to win the competition then United are going to have to play nine more games in a competition known for its convoluted structure - it's a couple more games than the Champions League winners will have to cope with, but they all add up in a title run-in. At least they only entered in the knock-out stage - teams that started at the beginning would have to play 19 games or half a Premier League season.
7) No more hot seat
Not all of Europe's stadia are as elaborately equipped as Old Trafford. The team will have to endure some more humble surroundings with the possibility of cramped away dressing rooms and cold showers - while Fergie won't be able to nestle his squeaky bum on those heated, padded leather bucket seats he's been used it.
8) The bargain vase-ment
All players dream of winning 'the cup with the big ears' as the enormous Champions League trophy has been coined. By comparison the straight edged Europa League trophy looks like an over-sized vase bereft of any handles to help hoist above players' heads - should they win it, it'll probably be used to hold some flowers in Fergie's office.
9) Completing the set
It may not be an illustrious competition but at least winning the Europa League would give Fergie the sort of satisfaction you feel when pressing that last sticker into a Panini album. Having won every other domestic and European piece of silverware in existence, the Europa League will complete a full set in the Old Trafford cabinet. Bingo!
10) Barcelona aren't in it....
The good news for Fergie is that United won't have to suffer their annual humiliation at the hands of Barcelona, while the red half of Manchester will have breathed a sigh of relief when City also missed out on staying in the Champions League. There's a chance the two could meet in the Final, which would be remembered as more than Mickey Mouse...as long as Fergie wins.
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