Strachan on the attack: The acerbic wit and wisdom of the new Middlesbrough manager

By Mirror Football in Football Banter

Published 15:45 26/10/09

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Football reporters everywhere will be shaking in their sheepskin coats today after their great tormentor Gordon Strachan returned to the dug-out as Middlesbrough’s new manager.

The waspish Scot is famed for his one-liners and withering put-downs to what he sees as inane questions from journalists and now he’s back, ready once again to liven up post-match press conferences.

In honour of his return to football management MirrorFootball's Rob Burnett   presents Strachan’s Greatest Hits: a collection of his best quips - with not a 'to be fair' or 'at the end of the day' in sight.

10) Reporter: "Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?"
Strachan: "No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, 'No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.'"

9) Reporter: "Is that your best start to a season?"
Strachan: "Well, I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure."

8) Reporter: "Can I have a quick word Gordon?"
Strachan: "Velocity." (Walks off).

7) Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Strachan: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...."

6) Reporter: "Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?"
Strachan: "No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah."

5) Reporter: "Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?"
Strachan: "You're spot on! You can read me like a book."

4) Reporter: "This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?"
Strachan: "You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there."

3) Reporter: "You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?"
Strachan: "I don't take stupid comments lightly either."

2) Strachan: "If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he’s called a philosopher. I’d just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap."
On Eric Cantona's famous press conference.

1) Chick Young: "Gordon, a clean sheet...it's been a while since you managed to say that?"
Gordon Strachan: "Aye... I was about 15."

And here's some from the wee man himself....

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