The MirrorFootball Summer Transfer Window Awards

By Dan Silver in Football Banter

Published 14:06 01/09/10

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The deadline day might have been a non-event (no matter what the presenters of Sky Sports News and their 'amazing' footage of Eidur Gudjonsson looking round Stoke's training ground might have wanted us to believe), but the summer transfer window still had more than its fair share of skullduggery, backstabbing and will-he, won't-he moments. And that was just Cesc Fabregas.

And so, with no further ado, here's your host Dan Silver to present the 2010 MirrorFootball Summer Transfer Window Awards.

The Best Signing Award
Winner: Joe Cole (Liverpool, fee)
Admittedly the former England star hasn't had the best of starts at Liverpool- three games, no goals, one red card and a driving ban - but given that he was a free transfer in the first place, you can't argue that Roy Hodgson hasn't had value for money. That he will have much better days at Anfield is a given, but arguably Joe Cole's biggest impact has been on the rest of the squad. His arrival was credited with changing Steven Gerrard's mind about moving abroad, which in turn convinced Fernando Torres to stick around for a last shot at success. And for those reasons alone, Cole's signing was priceless.
Runners-up: Ben Foster (Birmingham), Javier Hernandez (Manchester United), Yaya Toure (Manchester City)

The Worst Signing Award
Winner: Bebe (Manchester United, £7m)
It may seem harsh to write a new signing off after less than a month, but then Ole Gunnar Solksjaer seemingly did just that when he pulled Bebe from his first scheduled reserve outing due to alleged technical deficiencies. Fergie has since blasted reports the young Portugeezer isn't up to scratch (well, of course he would...) but few would be surprised if the former Homeless World Cup star was looking for another new berth in the months to come. Still, at least United fans can count themselves lucky they didn't spend £24m on an international superstar who can't adjust to the pace of the Premier League...
Runner-up: David Silva (Manchester City)

The Biggest Gamble Award
Winner: Asamoah Gyan (Sunderland, £13m)
Forget the jokes about not letting him take last-minute penalties; Steve Bruce will be more concerned about whether the Black Cats' record signing will be able to reproduce the more dazzling aspects of his World Cup form for Ghana in the harum scarum world of English league football. Let's hope he doesn't regret not spending that cash on a job lot of beach balls instead come Christmas.
Runner-up : Ramires (Chelsea)

The One That Got Away Award
Winner: Mark Schwarzer (to Arsenal)
One suspects that Arsene Wenger isn't very good at jigsaws: he's had three years now to fill in the missing piece of Arsenal's but still hasn't managed to do so. The Frenchman came pretty close this summer - and probably would have succeeded had it not been for that meddling David Stockdale and the ankle injury he picked up against Blackpool at the weekend. Still, there's always January...
Runners-up: Loic Remy (to West Ham/Tottenham/Liverpool/Stoke), Carlton Cole (to Liverpool)

The Biggest Coup Award
Winner: Cardiff signing Craig Bellamy
Forget the Champions League; The Championship is where it's at this season. Crystal Palace and Bristol City both pulled off stunning signings this summer by nabbing Edgar Davids and David James respectively, but persuading the still comparatively youthful Craig Bellamy to drop down a division and join Cardiff was arguably the league's best bit of business.
Runners-up: Crystal Palace signing Edgar Davids, Bristol City signing David James, Birmingham signing Alexander Hleb, Stoke signing Eidur Gudjohnsen

The Most Boring Transfer Saga Award
Winner: Cesc Fabregas
The Arsenal skipper's on-off move to Barcelona was longer than a Dan Brown novel - and, somehow, even more boring. The worst thing about the whole sorry saga though? We're almost certainly going to have go through it all again next summer as well... At least James Milner's move to Man City actually had some closure.
Runners-up: James Milner, Mario Balotelli

The Wheeler Dealer Award
Winner: Ian Holloway
After Harry Redknapp controversially ruled himself out of the running , it fell to Holloway to take up the mantle of the Premier League's answer to Arthur Daley. For a while it seemed as though the man affectionately known as Olly might have to draft in a few donkeys from the local beach to bolster his threadbare squad. But then club chairman Karl Oyston sensationally quit over agents fees and the floodgates opened. Remarkably there are now ten new players living the Tangerine dream that, in all likelihood, couldn't have pointed to Blackpool on a map this time last June.
Runners-up: Roberto Mancini, Harry Redknapp

The Friends Reunited Award
Winner: Michael Mancienne (Chelsea to Wolves)
We're not sure what Michael Mancienne loves so much about Wolverhampton - the accent? the curry houses? that lovely underpass between the ground and the station? - but something keeps pulling him back: the former England U-21 defender signed up for his third consecutive tour of loan duty in August. Which begs the question: why don't Chelsea just bite the bullet and flog him to Mick McCarthy permanently?
Runners-up: Fabio Aurelio (Liverpool), Salif Diao (Stoke)

The You're My Best Mate Award
Winners: Tal Ben Haim and Avram Grant
Lots of competition here, given that the likes of Roy Hodgson, Steve Bruce and Mark Hughes all seemed intent at one point or other on recreating their former rosters at their new clubs. Avram Grant trumped them all, though, for attempting to re-locate seemingly all of his doomed Pompey side to East London. Over the course of the summer he was linked with the likes of Marc Wilson, Jamie O'Hara, David Nugent and John Utaka before signing Frederic Piquionne and Tal Ben Haim - a player he also previously worked with at Chelsea.
Runners-up: Paul Konchesky and Roy Hodgson, Titus Bramble and Steve Bruce

The Unluckiest Signing Award
Winner: Jerome Boateng (Manchester City)
It's pretty unlucky when your big-money signing getting seriously injured on his debut (hello Kenwyne Jones). Even more so when he gets injured playing in a meaningless friendly the week before the season starts (hello Thomas Hitzlsperger). But you really know your luck's out when you splash upwards of £11m on a World Cup star only to have him ruled out for six weeks after a freak collision with an in-flight drinks trolley...
Runners-up: Thomas Hitzlsperger (West Ham), Kenwyne Jones (Stoke)

The Technical Cock-Up Award
Winners: Everton for Dan Gosling
Not only did the Toffees come unstuck by missing the deadline to offer their highly-rated England Under-21 star a new contract, they then also lost the proposed £5m transfer fee when a tribunal ruled Gosling could fly the nest to Newcastle for nada. No wonder David Moyes fancies a move to Aston Villa...
Runners-up: Tottenham's servers for Rafael van der Vaart, West Ham's aborted loan move for Felipe Caiciedo

The Funniest Name Award
Winner: Ruud Boffin (MVV to West Ham TBC)
The Hammers suffered as disappointing a deadline day as anyone - although, one suspects, Ryan Babel's would have been a lot worse had he been successfully coerced into joining as part of Carlton Cole's proposed move to Liverpool. However, one name that's sure to raise a smile at Upton Park is that of Dutch goalkeeper Ruud Boffin. Hopefully the Premier League will see sense and ratify his last-minute deal - if only for comedic purposes.
Runners-up : Jelle van Damme, Sebastien Squillaci, Jean Beausejour

Also mentioned in dispatches...

The Sir Alex Ferguson Award For Keeping It In The Family
Winner: Sir Alex Ferguson for sending THREE players (David Gray, Josh King and Matt James) down the road to son Darren's Preston North End.

The Lionel Messi Award For Tapping Up
Winner: Lionel Messi for Cesc Fabregas
Runner-up: Lionel Messi for Javier Mascherano

The Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish Award
Winner: Robinho
Runner-up: Javier Mascherano

The Biggest Signing Award
Winner: Sol Campbell (Newcastle, about 20 stones by the look of him)
Runner-up: Nikola Zigic (Birmingham, 6' 7")

Who were your winners and losers of the winter transfer window? Let us know by leaving a comment below...

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