Beer we go! It's the transfer deadline day drinking game

The close of the transfer window is once more upon us and that means a day of fevered speculation before a big night in with MirrorFootball and Sky Sports' Jim White.

Don't miss the big transfer deals with Mirror Football's Live Deadline Day special  

To help you get through the day (and night), you'll need booze. Lots of booze. Follow our handy Transfer Deadline Day Drinking Game below and you'll end up greeting your £35million capture of Emile Heskey will the same elation as getting Lionel Messi on a free...

The Basics:

Loan move: Wet your lips

New rumour: 1 sip (add one sip if it involves your club)

Medical: 2 sips (add one sip if it involves your club)

Done deal: 3 sips (add one sip if it involves your club)

Advanced rules for experts:

Feature about 'transfer merry-go-round', complete with crude cartoon of merry-go-round, appears in tabloid newspaper: 1 sip

'Return Of The Mack' plays as Jim White takes his seat at the Sky Sports bridge: 1 sip

Pissed-up kids mooning behind reporter standing outside St James': 2 sips

Carlos Tevez spotted in Milan: 1 sip

Jim White: "Christopher wants a transfer but will Spurs or QPR be doing the Samba on deadline day?": 1 sip

HELICOPTER SIGHTING!: Finish your drink

Hilarious "Messi spotted at Scunthorpe" gag is retweeted 100 times: 0 sips

Grainy video images of new midfielder, shot through training ground office window: 2 sips

Jim White winks at camera, smugly: 1 sip

MirrorFootball reporter employs phrase "transfer tug-of-war" in breaking news piece: 1 sip

As above, but with phrase "Come-and-get-me plea": 2 sips

Glacial glare of death from Jim White as a reporter ventures that "tonight may turn out to be a damp squib": 1 sip

Over-the-hill pundit in Sky Sports studios uses the phrase "damp squid": 2 sips

Misreading of one of Joey Barton's Tweets sparks rumours that QPR are about to sign Stuttgart schemer Georg Hegel: 1 sip

PLAYER BEING RUSHED THROUGH AIRPORT!: Finish your drink

Sky Sports tickertape goes yellow: 1 sip

Pissed-off reporter outside ground in rain says "As I've said before, we're not expecting any movement here, Jim": 1 sip

Jim tells reporter he'll check back with him at 8pm, 9pm, 10pm, and 11pm just to make sure: 3 sips

Carlos Tevez spotted in Paris: 1 sip

On Talksport, Adrian Durham says the "transfer window is not all that": 1 sip

Reporter outside ground's attempt to break major transfer news is drowned out by crowd chanting name of player they're signing: 1 sip

Arsene Wenger says Arsenal will do no business but fans can be happy as "Jack Wilshere will be like a new £30m signing when he comes back": 1 sip

Flustered Jim reading out biography of hitherto unknown signing, obviously straight from Wikipedia: 1 sip

in-depth interview with manager conducted through car window: 1 sip

One of Andy Burton's mobiles goes off while he's on the air: 1 sip

One of Andy Burton's mobiles goes off while he's on the air, and it's Richard Bacon: 3 sips

Big Sky pad breaks down, shows off user's porn collection instead: 3 sips

South American player pictured arriving in Sunderland, at 10.48pm, in a T-shirt and shades: 2 sips

Jim White: "There's Strictly no bidders for Samba so far": 1 sip

As Jim rambles on about sod-all, look on Natalie Sawyer's face suggests that even a night at home with Sam Matterface is better than this: 1 sip

Carlos Tevez spotted in Brazil: 1 sip

Big Ben chimes portentously as absolutely nothing happens: 1 sip

Jim White SHOUTING FOR NO REASON like Brick in Anchorman: 2 sips

Awkward reference to Harry Redknapp being "otherwise engaged": 1 sip

FAILED MEDICAL!: Finish your drink

Kid outside ground is already wearing replica shirt of new striker: 1 sip

Kid outside ground is already burning replica shirt of old striker who's just left: 3 sips

Carlos Tevez spotted at Anfield: 1 sip

Jim White STARTS. TALKING. LIKE. THIS: 2 sips

Jim White's MAJOR. MIDLANDS. TRANSFER. NEWS turns out to involve Liam Ridgewell: 1 sip

New signing says: "Two or three clubs were in for me but once I heard (insert name) were interested there was no other choice": 1 sip

Veteran defender explains drop to mid-level Championship plodders with the words: "They're a Premier League side in all but name": 1 sip

Oh no! Spurs' fax has run out of paper and they bought some more but the dog ate it!: 3 sips

Carlos Tevez spotted weeping in bushes outside Roberto Mancini's house, holding olive branch: 1 sip

"Don't fret," says Jim as he prepares to take his leave of us mortals. "There's only 121 days to the next transfer window". Winks: Finish your drinks and stumble off to bed

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