Keegan quits in the toilet, Martin Edwards visits the ladies and Pedro Mendes meets Ben Thatcher: The decade's100 most shocking football moments no: 60-51

By Steve Anglesey in Mirror Football Blog

Published 14:18 20/12/09

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60. Young Cristiano Ronaldo shocks Manchester United (6/8/2003)

Manchester United went to Lisbon to inaugurate the spanking new Estádio José Alvalade. They returned raving not about the ground's architecture, cinema, tube station, shopping mall or health club, but about the 19-year-old winger who had just turned Phil Neville inside out. "We were all saying to the boss 'we've got to sign him'," recalled the defender, who recalled the idea was even discussed at half-time.

Not that Ferguson needed much persuading. Believing that Liverpool were still sniffing around, having rejected a proposed £4million deal earlier in the year, his move for Cristiano Ronaldo was completed within six days. The £12.4million fee was derided at the time; the subsequent £67.6million profit shows what astute judges Fergie had in his dressing room.

59. ITV Digital goes bust (27/3/2002)

After years of envious glances at Sky's huge Premier football deals, the Football League clubs clambered aboard the gravy train to sign a £315m deal with ITV Digital in June 2000. Yet they hadn't read the ticket restrictions - unbelievably, no-one demanded guarantees that the new broadcaster's backers, Carlton and Granada, would cough up even if their venture went bust.

Meanwhile delighted clubs embarked upon a mini-spree, spending £84million in transfers alone during the 2001/2002 season, which lasted precisely until the first viewing figures came in. ITV Digital didn't even make it until the end of its first season and a raft of sides headed towards, or straight into, administration.

The final indignity: When the league sued their laywers for negligence, they pressed for £150m in damages but were awarded just four quid - not even enough to buy a knitted Monkey.

58. Thierry Henry's wondergoal against Manchester United (30/9/2000)

At first, it looks unpromising - the ball arrives at Thierry Henry's feet on the left-hand side of Manchester United's penalty box. Denis Irwin's arm is on the Frenchman, two other United players are in close attendance. But Henry lets the ball flick up off his right foot, swivels and loops in a swirling shot which goes over Fabien Barthez and into the top right-hand corner for the only goal. Sublime genius.

57. Ben Thatcher meets Pedro Mendes (23/08/2006)

Like an alcoholic falling off the wagon in style, Thatcher had largely kept his elbows to himself since a widely-publicised incident with Sunderland's Nicky Summerbee in 2000 before going on a spectacular bender in the summer of 2006.

First, he was dismissed during Manchester City's pre-sason tour of China when an elbow to the chest of Yang Chungchang left the  Shanghai Shenhua player with a coillapsed lung. Fifteen days later, in an otherwise unventful 0-0 draw with Portsmouth at Eastlands, he delivered an indefensible forearm smash to ther face of Pedro Mendes, knocking the midfielder unconscious. Mendes, given oxygen on the sidelines, woke up in hospital; Thatcher was lucky not to wake up in jail.

56. Juventus relegated for match fixing (14/7/2006)

"When an Italian says it's pasta I check under the sauce to make sure," said Sir Alex Ferguson years ago. He might have been talking of Luciano Moggi, the Juventus general manager, and his regular telephone conversations with referees' chief Pierluigi Pairetto, during which Moggi reccomended which official he would like the Old Lady to have next week and criticised the likes of Pierluigi Collina for being too tough.

Milan, Fiorentina and Lazio were all found to be doing similar and, five days before Italy's World Cup final triumph, were demoted to Serie B while Juve were sent down to Serie C and deducted 30 points for the next season.

In the end, only the country's biggest club went down and though they immediately bounced back under Didier Deschamps, they did so without the likes of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Lilian Thuram, Patrick Vieira and Fabio Cannavaro, all of whom jumped ship.

55. Michael Jackson at Exeter (14/2/2002)

"Former Exeter City director is buried" ran the excellent Daily Mirror sport headline on the day of Michael Jackson's funeral, referring to Wacko's brief flirtation with the Grecians.

The oxygen chamber, the Jesus Juice, the dangling baby, the chimp, the amusement arcade, the sleepovers - all of this now seems quite normal compared to events at the other St James' Park in the summer of 2002, when fans more used to seeing the likes of Kwame Ampadu and Glenn Cronin packed into the ramshackle old ground to see Jackson deliver a rambling speech from beneath a black umbrella. It wasn't raining.

Introduced by old pal and cutlery-worrier Uri Geller, Jackson eschewed the chance to discuss John Cornforth's defensive system and instead covered AIDS, malaria, racism and - ahem - the importance of loving children in an eight-minute address, supported (naturally enough) by magician David Blaine and 1970s diva turned Tory politician Patti Boulaye.

Said Geller: "When I asked Michael what does he know about football he said 'absolutely nothing but I love Exeter City." Countless Exeter fans could no doubt say the same.

54. Martin Jol manages Spurs despite being sacked (25/10/2007)

A dull UEFA Cup game turned into a truly bizarre night when our reporter John Cross at White Hart Lane rang through an hour before kick-off to say that Martin Jol had been sacked but would still take charge of the game. Then the full, farcical details began to emerge: Angry with Dimitar Berbatov, Jol had reminded the Bulgarian who was in charge, only for him to reply "not for long". Jol had then driven to the match, where a friend at the club had informed him chairman Daniel Levy was about to replace him with Juande Ramos. Jol and Levy had a stand-up row, during which the manager was dismissed after refusing to resign. And then it was time for kickoff!

By half-time, everyone in the ground seemed to know and the final 45 minutes of a poor 2-1 defeat were soundtracked by "stand up for Martin Jol". bringing tears to the Dutchman's eyes. Certainly Jol's finest moment since he castigated an interviewer for sniggering at the names of his brothers, who happen to be called Dick and Cock.

53. Martin Edwards goes to the ladies (29/08/2002)

Manchester United's chairman had long been regarded as a lucky man. Having failed to sell the Red Devils off to ball-juggling UFO abductee Michael Knighton, the butcher's son then sat back and reaped the Premier League riches.

However than luck ran out in scandalous fashion late in 2002 when the dad-of-two received a police caution after allegedly being caught peering under a cubicle door in the ladies' loos at Cheshire's swanky Mottram Hall hotel. More allegations followed and later former United security chief Ned Kelly claimed to have been briefed to follow Edwards at the club's post 1996 FA Cup final party as "his visits to the ladies’ are becoming more frequent.” Wrote Kelly: "It had been a constant source of amusement to the players and ground staff, but it was undeniably embarrassing. He just seemed to have a compulsion to invade the space of women in their most private moments." Edwards left the United board shortly afterwards.

52. Paul Scholes' training ground volley (25/03/00)

The phrase 'elegant simplicity' might have been invented for this jaw-dropping classic, part of a 4-0 rout at Valley Parade. David Beckham chips in a left-hand corner and Scholes meets it at the edge of the box with a vicious, dipping volley. Straight off the training ground and straight into Matt Clarke's net.

51. Keegan quits in the Wembley bogs (7/10/2000)

Having flushed away England's chances of beating Germany in the last competitive game at the old Wembley Stadium by playing Gareth Southgate in midfield, serial sunset-walker Keegan spent his last moments as manager arguing with the FA's David Davies in a dressing room toiler cubicle, before formally resigning as Lancaster Gate suits Adam Crozier and Noel White crammed into the tiny space. A huge farewell bash at the famous old ground carried on, unaware of the extraordinary events elsewhere.

"I'm just not good enough at this level," said Keegan, honestly, afterwards. Too true - yet at least he found the perfect stage upon which to quit

Rooney, Foe, Collymore, Loos: The 100 most shocking football moments of the decade, numbers 100-91

Robbie's Jobbie, Busy C****, The Tactics Truck and Rocky RIP: The 100 most shocking football moments of the decade, numbers 90-81

Ghost goals, Philosophers, Taxis, Invincibles and Divots: The 100 most shocking football moments of the decade, numbers 80-71

Gallas' sit-in, Barton's punch, Zola's backheel and Red Nev's taunt: The 100 most shocking football moments of the decade, numbers 70-61  

Next: Keane v Vieira, that beachball and Schteve McClaren's Dutch accent in The 100 most shocking football moments of the decade, numbers 50-41