David Beckham in America: 10 things we've learned from Goldenballs' MLS adventure
America loves a Comeback Kid and on Sunday night David Beckham could be reborn in the USA
Earlier this year, as he feuded with fans and team-mates, the veteran midfielder's decision to join LA Galaxy looked like the most ill-fated English trip to Hollywood since Hugh Grant decided to park up on Sunset Boulevard. Now, victory against the hysterically-named Real Salt Lake in the MLS Cup will cap an unexpected redemption. If he's not set Tinseltown alight, at least he's done about as well as Vinnie Jones.
No, Beckham hasn't put soccer on the back pages or delivered a hat-trick a week (this, after all being the country where a member of the New York Cosmos ownership once advised Franz Beckenbauer's then-manager: "Tell the Kraut to get his ass upfield and score some goals").
But in truth an ageing Goldenballs in the Golden State has worked out as expected - not many goals and too many injuries balanced by a bagful of telling dead balls and crosses, like the one which helped push the Galaxy past Houston in 'overtime' last week, among his 14 'assists'. (Look here at 4:45 to see it).
Here are 10 things we've learned about Beckham in La-La Land...
1) He's developed a sense of humour
After each half of the Western Conference final was delayed by floodlight failures lasting 18 minutes apiece, Beckham told a crowd of journalists in the locker-room: "I knew the Americans would find a way to make it a game of four quarters."
Sure, the resulting laughter from the assembled hacks might have suggested something worthy of Oscar Wilde doing stand-up at the Algonquin, but a good one-liner nonetheless.
2) He's scored some great goals
Only eight in total across Beckham's 44 matches but
these two against MLS Cup opponents Salt Lake
during the ill-fated Ruud Gullit era are belters. Then there's this effort
from even further out than his career-announcing lob against Wimbledon
all those years ago.
3) He loves a little bloke
After palling up with Gary Neville (5ft10ins) at United, Becks hit it off with Roberto Carlos (5ft6ins) at Real Madrid before moving on to Tom Cruise (5ft7ins according to IMDB... presumably measured while jumping) and Galaxy foe-turned-buddy Landon Donovan (5ft8ins) in the Yew Ess Of Ay.
4) He's a ratings winner
Not only do MLS attendances rise when Beckham comes to town - against a league-wide downward trend which can be explained by the recession - but matches involving Goldenballs draw an average of 400,000 viewers on the American TV channel ESPN2. That's 25 per cent more than the usual MLS fare and bigger than the channel's coverage of our Premier League and Spain's La Liga - although, of course, the American games are played in primetime rather than early on a Saturday morning.
5) He's brought a little bit of Manchester with him
MLS commissioner Don Garber recently marvelled that while early US media coverage of Beckham in America showed him attending LA Lakers games or fashion shoots, you now "see pictures of him pointing at his watch and shouting at the referee that he is allowing too much time.” Now, who could he have picked that up from?
6) He still says "y'know" as much as ever
Beckham's most celebrated verbal tic - during Euro 2004 I counted him saying 'Y'know' 283 times in 43 minutes of TV interviews - has survived his transtlantic move. Here
he rips off a blistering 13 y'knows in less than a minute
of otherwise unremarkable conversation about Sunday's big game
7) His shooting accuracy ain't what it used to be
Beckham's on the right wing here as a streaker interrupts play - drawing, it must be said, a much better crowd response than the actual 'soccer' itself - but look what happens
when he attempts to hit the nude idiot with a long-range shot
. Hope Fabio's not looking.
8) Even his darkest hours had an upside
Grant Wahl's book The Beckham Experiment, in which team-mate Donovan ripped into Beckham's disconnection with team-mates, helped spark the protests which greeted Beckham on his return from Italy this season. A good result for the league, says Garber.
The commissioner recently told Wahl: "What drives the popularity of sports in America is ongoing debate... soccer needs more of that. Your book took us off the sports pages and created a story in our league that grew our awareness and got people talking about us. It probably had an effect on the performance of the Galaxy, and it allowed the coach to come in and get into the locker room and get these guys working together."
9) He's taken it... and dished it out
Crash! Here's Becks being
pushed into the hoardings
by DC United's March Burch! Bang! Now he's getting
tripped on the run
by Chivas USA's Atiba Harris! Wallop! And now he's
on the end of a two-footer
from FC Dallas' Serioux! And, er, wallop again! Here he is
getting a straight red
for going through Seattle's brilliantly-named Peter Vagenas!
10) He's saved MLS spectators from unimaginable torture
Sunday will be Beckham's 45th MLS game. He hasn't let his missus sing the National Anthem before any of them. Jolly good chap, as they say in Los Angeles.
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