Emmanuel Adebayor and the Top 10 alternative punishments he should be given

By Dan Silver in Mirror Football Blog

Published 13:56 16/09/09

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Manchester City striker Emmanuel Adebayor is set to be hit with a hefty ban at some point in the next 24 hours or so, following his stamp on Robin van Persie and his celebration in front of the Arsenal fans at the weekend.

But sitting out a few matches is no real hardship for these pampered Premier League superstars. After all, they're always moaning about how many games they have to play anyway.

Instead, MirrorFootball's Tim Bailey and Chris O'Keefe r eckon these punishments would better fit the crime... 

10) Researcher for Family Fortunes
Arsene Wenger reckons that if you asked 100 people about Adebayor's challenge on Van Persie, then 99 of them would say it was bad. Well, let's find out. Send the big striker out on the streets of... ooh... north London maybe, and get him to gauge the views of 100 members of the public. And while he's at it, get him to ask them to name a fruit beginning with 'B' as well.

9) Cough up for corrective eye surgery for Arsene Wenger
As well as a suspension, Adebayor is bound to be hit with a huge fine. Well, it would be huge for most of us, but for a bloke earning £100k a week, it's not likely to prove too costly. So instead of that, he can answer one of those laser surgery ads in the papers and fork out for his old boss to get 20/20 vision. Then maybe next time the Frenchman will see the incident.

8) Working for B&Q
That plastic furniture won't sell itself, you know. And apparently there's a shortage of it in the Manchester area just now. Something about people throwing plastic chairs around in a fit of pique. Plus we reckon he'd look lovely in one of those bright orange overalls.

7) Sorting the Mail
Christmas is coming and we all know how busy the Post Office gets at that time of year, so a spell in the Manchester sorting office should be just the ticket for Adebayor as he reflects on his bad boy behaviour. After all, we know he likes a stamp.

6) Contestant on Strictly Come Dancing
He proved at the weekend that he's pretty light on his feet, and that was a spectacular pirouette to land his studs flush on Van Persie's cheek. We reckon Craig Revel-Horwood would have given him a very unimpressive three-and-a-half for his efforts.

5) Cage fight with Jean Claude Van Damme
Clearly Manu fancies himself as a bit of martial arts expert, happy to take on the best that the Benelux nations can throw at him. We struggled to come up with a suitable Dutch opponent to defend Van Persie's honour, so instead we've drafted in one their friendly neighbours, the Muscles from Brussels himself. We don't think Ade will be running the length of the pitch to celebrate after Van Damme's finished with him.

4) A season ticket on the North Bank
Obviously we'll kit him out with a replica Arsenal shirt, a scarf and a hat. And at least he'll have plenty of friends around to have a chat with. We'll even provide the words to all those Gooners chants – just in case he can't remember them.

3) Theme Park handyman
Adebayor is clearly a fan of big slides, as he demonstrated so spectacularly at the weekend. So let's give him a big slide – to clean! Blackpool is a mere 49 miles from Manchester, so how about a stint giving the Big One at the Pleasure Beach a spit and polish? Hope he's got a head for heights though – at its peak, it's a mere 235 feet above sea level.

2) In charge of hygiene at London Zoo
You all know what the Arsenal fans were singing at Adebayor at the weekend, so you don't need us to tell you again. But as a way of showing him just how naughty he was by reacting to those nasty chants, let's get him down Regents Park with a bucket and a mop.

1) Trolley dolly on Eithad Airways
City are sponsored these days by Eithad Airways – "From Abu Dhabi to the World", according to their website. Well, let's see how Manu enjoys a stint as a waiter in the sky. If he thought he got stick at the weekend, wait 'til the drunk old fools in Business Class start jumping up and down demanding more large G&Ts.
 

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