Hoovers, boxing gloves and the Top 10 things England's stars need in their hotel rooms to ensure World Cup glory

Published 14:40 15/09/09

England football bosses have sent a list of demands they insist must be at their World Cup base in South Africa – including a computer games arcade.

But what else do England's top stars need at their team hotel if they are to achieve glory next summer? MirrorFootball reckons this fantasy wish list might do it...

Wayne Rooney – A Hoover
The Manchester United ace has admitted that he can't nod off without the settling sound of a roaring Hoover. Those of us with bad memories of teenage hangovers being exacerbated by the noise of their mum vacuuming won't understand it, but perhaps it's better than listening to Coleen banging on about her day at the shops.

Glen Johnson – A toilet seat
For reasons surely known only to the Liverpool full-back, during his days as a humble £30k-a-week Pompey scuffler, he was caught at B&Q trying to stuff a toilet seat into a box with a cheaper price tag. We have no idea why – perhaps he just likes toilet seats. So a nice ornamental one – perhaps one of those depicting an underwater scene? - would be the perfect treat to replace the... ahem... 'bog standard' hotel issue.

Rio Ferdinand – A caravan
One of the best-paid players in the world, Ferdinand knew exactly how to treat the family during his summer break. The United stopper wasn't going bonkers for Barbados, though, nor mad for the Maldives... nope, he whisked the missus and the kids off on a 'staycation' in a caravan in north Wales. He did, though, splash out £400 for a top-of-the-range 'Prestige' model. So if he's having trouble getting a good night's kip in his luxury hotel bed, just whack a caravan in the hotel's garden and he'll be out like a light.

David James – Boxing gloves
The news that PlayStations and Wiis are on the England squad's wish list for South Africa made MirrorFootball 's blood run cold at the thought of Jamo sitting up half the night trying to beat his best score on Mario Kart . This is the man who had to go cold turkey during his Liverpool days, remember, after his nocturnal activities with a joystick hampered his form to such an extent he was chucking 'em in for fun. Weaning himself off the consoles hasn't altogether eradicated the errors from his game, but at least he no longer thinks white suits are a good idea.

Steven Gerarrd – An iPod
We're fairly sure Stevie G will be taking his own MP3 player with him to the High Veldt but, just in case, it's imperative his room is decked out with one. And a big set of headphones. The Scouse midfield battler landed himself in court recently after a row in a nightclub when the DJ apparently refused to play his requested tune. And the rumours are that tune was performed by a certain Mr P Collins. And that would be enough to start a fight with anyone.

Jermain Defoe - A Big Brother DVD boxset
With Signor Capello having told the players they will be allowed only limited time with the WAGs in South Africa next summer, Jermain might need something to remind him of those home comforts. And given his penchant for a BB lass, what could be better? The Spurs hot-shot has previously dated BB lovelies Danielle Lloyd and Chantelle Houghton, and his latest squeeze is Imogen Thomas. Just don't overdo it on the pause button, Jermain...

Frank Lampard - A Ladyshave
For those of you born after about 1983, you've probably got no idea what one of these is. But before the advent of products like Immac, and the craze for all-over body waxing and the like, this was how your missus trimmed those furry bits. Although in fairness, it gave you more of an Eastern European than a Brazilian. But knowing how metrosexual Frankie likes a smooth torso, we don't want to be taking any chances.

Shaun Wright-Phillips - A padlock for his wardrobe
Not to keep any thieving rotters from nicking his gear, of course. After all, SWP's clobber would be a bit of snug fit even for Aaron Lennon, let alone any of his actual fully-grown team-mates. No, this has an altogether more practical use. It could be used to secure Shaun's dad, Ian, therefore keeping him safely under lock and key and away from the TV screens of those who prefer our post-match analysts to offer, er, analysis and not just one-eyed tub-thumping.

Emile Heskey - Stabilisers
Now MirrorFootball has never been bicycling with the big Aston Villa frontman, but we're guessing he might be a little bit wobbly. How else do you explain the fact that a bloke who's about 6ft 2in and 17 stone goes down like a sack of spuds every time a defender shouts "miss it" in his lughole. But if little kids can keep their balance with the aid of these... erm... cycling aids, then surely he can too.

Peter Crouch - A can of WD40
The supersized striker has said he'll only perform his celebrated robot dance again if England win the World Cup, so in the event of victory for the Three Lions in Cape Town, he might need a can of the famous spray-on lubricant to ensure he's not rusty.

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