Rooney, Foe, Collymore, Loos: The 100 most shocking football moments of the decade, numbers 100-91
With the Noughties nearly at an end, MirrorFootball's Steve Anglesey looks back on the decade's biggest gob-smackers. Here's his Day 1 selection...
100. A genius announces his arrival (19/10/2002)
The kid's only been on the pitch for 10 minutes when it happens, 28 seconds from the final whistle. He pulls down a hopeful high ball, turns and sends in a blistering, curling shot which beats David Seaman to end Arsenal's 30-match unbeaten record and pass Michael Owen as the Premier League's youngest-ever scorer.
"Remember the name," says ITV's commentator. "Wayne Rooney". Mopes Arsene Wenger afterwards: "He's only supposed to be 16."
99. Mike Parry on the lash and on the air in Moscow (21/08/2008)
Few broadcasters have brought as much pleasure over the decade as TalkSport's Mike Parry, the cuddly proponent of wing mirrors for jockeys and ejector seats in Formula 1 cars. On the night Manchester United won the Champions League against Chelsea, he excelled himself by calling into Ian Collins' post-match show in a state of complete and utter refreshment.
"To start off with, you're a cultured man, you're a libero or something," began Parry, sensibly. "What I'm saying to you is you can't escape the redness, the liberalism of the former Communist Party in Moscow. The greatest thing about Moscow is... that it's Moscow. The Americans call it Mos-cow but it shouldn't be called that, because it's not a cow, it's Mos-coe.
"I'm walking now into an area of mist. I've just gone into the early morning air of Moscow and (sings tuneless approximation of theme to M*A*S*H*) 'In early morning mist I see, lots of things and misery'... You see, the difference between you and me, Ian, is that I see there are winners and losers in life. (Sings approximation of Abba song) 'The winner takes it all... the loser takes... a fall'... That's what I'm saying to you.
"You and I have worked together sometimes. And sometimes without. But you're a better man than I. And I'm in Moscow, which is a third world country, and you're at TalkSport, which is a magnificent station and a magnificent country..." Surely the best moment of alcohol-infused broadcasting since this .
98. John Terry parks in a disabled bay (March 2008)
Looking for a symbol of how divorced from reality football's pampered millionaires have come? Try England's skipper spurning a 50p-an-hour public car park yards away in favour of dumping his black Bentley in a spot for disabled drivers outside Pizza Express in Esher, Surrey. The subsequent £60 fine must have really stung for a player reckoned then to be on £135,000 a week, who had therefore earned £1,600 in the time it took him to polish off his dough balls and American Hot.
97. Death of Marc-Vivien Foe (26/6/2003)
Foe was my favourite Manchester City player in our final season at Maine Road and I was working on a late shift at the Daily Mirror on the night he collapsed during Cameroon's Confederations Cup semi-final against Colombia.
I'll never forget the awful pictures from that night, or sports news editor Mike Allen putting down the phone after a call from Martin Lipton, turning quietly and announcing, "Foe's dead." Nor a quote from a team-mate who had taken Foe's widow to see his body in the dressing room. "Look, Marc's sleeping," she said. "When he wakes up we'll go back to the hotel."
96. Pascal Chimbonda keeps a transfer request in his sock (7/5/2006)
It was the final game at Highbury and the day a dodgy lasagne helped Arsenal overhaul Spurs to claim a Champions League place. But, more extraordinary than that, it was also the day Wigan's Pascal Chimbonda came off the pitch after the final whistle, walked into the dressing room and silently presented manager Paul Jewell with a piece of folded paper he'd taken from his sock - a signed transfer request. "I've no problem with players asking for a transfer," said Jewell, "but it was the manner in which it was done that upset me."
95. Stan Collymore's fiery Leicester arrival (15/2/2000)
Stan Collymore ends the decade as one of Britain's most incisive and respected young pundits, having begun it with controversy at Leicester City. Signed on a free from Fulham on February 10th, our Mirror Football columnist made a low-key Foxes debut at Watford two days later before heading off to La Manga for a bonding session with his new team-mates. Three days later the squad were back in disgrace, having been chucked out of the Spanish sports resort after a night of high spirits ended with 'Fireman Stan' wielding a fire extinguisher.
Said La Manga managing director Tony Coles: "They were dancing on tables and being a general nuisance. They were insulting and rude to people. They were asking ladies to dance that didn't want to and being obnoxious. They were all fairly drunk by that stage. They had had a lot to drink. The team's behaviour up to that point had been unacceptable.
"Around 40 people were covered in the stuff from the fire extinguisher. It was irresponsible. The guests left the bar as soon as they could possibly get out."
Stan being Stan, he responded to news of his £30,000 club fine by scoring a hat-trick on his home debut three days later...
94. Colonel Gadaffi's son joins Serie A (29/6/2003)
Unpromisingly described the former coach of the Libyan football team as "useless", midfielder Saadi Gaddfi arrived at Perguia boasting: "In Africa, we play some games that are maybe even tougher than the ones in Italy."
Jimmy Greaves famously lasted only 12 Serie A games but the dictator's boy made that look like a career of Maldiniesque proportions, managing only two appearances in a four-year career with three different clubs. First his Perugia debut was delayed because he was on the Juventus board, then he fell victim to a back injury. Finally, after a single match, he was banned after testing positive for nandrolone. Later he joined Udinese, playing for 10 minutes as a sub, and Sampdoria, for whom he failed to make a single appearance.
93. Pedro Mendes 'scores' at Old Trafford (4/1/2005)
"There was nothing I could have done differently apart from run faster than Linford Christie," said linesman Rob Lewis of his part in the ghost goal that denied Tottenham a first away victory at Manchester United since 1989. Mendes had scored his first Spurs goal against Everton on New Years' Day and should have doubled his account three days later, but Lewis, in line with the last defender, was unsighted when the Portuguese's speculative 50-yard lob was fumbled over the line, then clawed back by goalkeeper Roy Carroll. "It was really, really over," said Mendes. "What can you do but laugh about it?"
92. Rebecca Loos reveals 'Beckd sex texts' (16/4/2004)
Of all the remarkable claims over Rebecca Loos' alleged affair with David Beckham, none was more outlandish than the former PR girl insisting she only stored dirty SMS messages from Goldenballs for 'sentimental reasons'. "I have kept the more recent ones because it's just nice to refer back to them from time to time," Loos told Sky's Kay Burley, brandishing the mobile from which she reckoned to have exchanged 30 messages per day with our David. Sometimes, added the future pig-pleasurer, she fielded the texts "in a public place, the office or there was one time I was visiting a museum with my parents. I had to go up to the toilets and finish it there."
Luckily enough the sporting world learned its lesson quickly and no major sporting celebrity since has suffered the indignity of having their dirty texts shared by the world. Oh, hang on...
91. Sepp Blatter urges tighter shorts for women footballers (16/1/2004)
The women's game undoubtedly has its problems - lack of investment, lack of quality coaching, lack of paying customers. Yet only FIFA's president has really put his finger only its main failing - a lack of hotpants. "Female players are pretty. Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts," said the Swiss buffoon, whose later response to Thierrygate was to send Henry a message of sympathy while laughing at the Irish during a press conference.
Alas a prophet is rarely recognised in his own lifetime and the FA's Bev Ward called the comments totally impractical and demeaning" while Fulham manager Marianne Spacey said: "Ten years ago we did play in tighter shorts. Nobody paid attention then."
Tomorrow: Anders Frisk, Jaap Stam's autobiography, the Tactics Truck and more in our Most Shocking Moments 90-81
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