Not a reader? G-Nev reveals he hasn't bought a newspaper for seven years, plus Twitter fouls-ups aplenty

Gary Neville’s refusal to sugar-coat criticism, even when aimed at Manchester United, has made him a superb replacement for Andy Gray at Sky Sports. S... Read more+

Demi Moore's break-up taking its toll, plus Scott Parker's a real gent

Demi Moore's split with Ashton Kutcher has taken a heavy toll, as this screengrab (above) from the Sun Online shows… ** When Scott Parker visited Wemb... Read more+

'It's like a stone rolling down a hill... it's gathering more and more moss' - Daft Quotes of the Week

DAFT QUOTES OF THE WEEK "It's like a stone rolling down a hill... it's gathering more and more moss" – GRAEME SOUNESS"Where do you sit on young player... Read more+

Brolin's poo admission, plus new Preston gaffer's a text maniac

The phrase ‘Swedish meatball’ has never seemed so appropriate as when used to accompany this new photo of former Leeds United flop Tomas Brolin. The E... Read more+

Girlfriend blames Boateng bother on too much sex, plus Joey haunts Warnock at the movies

Former Spurs midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng could be forgiven if he had better things to do than watch their trip to Manchester City on TV. Boateng h... Read more+

Taxi for Liverpool! Plus why Wayne loves a stroll on the Boardwalk

Liverpool have an enthusiastic and knowledgeable worldwide following. Or, in the case of this Indian taxi driver, just enthusiastic. ** Wayne Rooney’s... Read more+

Balotelli myths busted, plus Scholes' new boots and King Kenny's Inspector Clouseau impression

If you thought all those stories about Mario Balotelli were too good to be true… you’re right, according to the man himself. The Manchester City strik... Read more+

Red card for Jeff Winter's blog, plus Aidy Boothroyd's uncanny impression of Gary Johnson

After a memorable blog post which included references to altar boys being abused after Celtic victories and the Pope being described a “dress-wearing ... Read more+

'It was a damp squid for Liverpool' - 3PM's daft quotes of the week

DAFT QUOTES OF THE WEEK"One win doesn't make a swallow" – DANNY KELLY"It was a damp squid for Liverpool” – PAUL MERSON"Are Spurs title contenders for ... Read more+

3PM Pictures: Worst football lookalikes ever and more Talksport ticklers from Alan Brazil

Questionable lookalikes have long been an obsession of this column, and so we salute the Susan Scott agency, which offers these unmistakable likenesse... Read more+

Man United fans graffiti mission goes wrong, plus French respond to Beckham snub

Congratulation to the brave guerrilla army of Manchester United fans who visited the Eastlands area on Friday night to spray-paint local pubs with ‘MU... Read more+

'Sometimes you want Obertan to open his legs and do something a bit exciting' - Daft quotes of the week

Internet encyclopedia Wikipedia can be unreliable. So we can probably discount the line in the biographical notes for Seth Johnson – famously the subj... Read more+

'We've shown we're not a one-trick monkey': 3PM's Daft Quotes Of 2011, Part 2

Happy Christmas from everyone at MirrorFootball! To celebrate, here's part one of Steve Anglesey's Daft Quotes Of The Year from his 3PM column. 'Engla... Read more+

'England have players who can rattle anyone's feathers': 3PM's Daft Quotes Of 2011, Part 1

Happy Christmas from everyone at MirrorFootball! To celebrate, here's part one of Steve Anglesey's Daft Quotes Of The Year from his 3PM column. 'We've... Read more+

Revealed: Manchester's bargain T-shirts plus Balotelli's latest restaurant brawl!

Readers looking for a bargain Christmas present are directed to Manchester, where for some reason, these handsome Champions League T-shirts are curren... Read more+

Steven Gerrard uses gas and air to cope with child birth plus scary programme covers

Steven Gerrard’s legendary toughness may see him return to Liverpool duty over the festive period, well ahead of schedule after his ankle operation. Y... Read more+

Potential Venky's marketing at Wigan and daft quotes of the Week

This fan’s headgear was spotted at Wigan v Chelsea by WhoAteAllThePies.TV – another missed marketing opportunity for Venky’s? *** Daft quotes of the W... Read more+

United launch Phil Jones action figure... or is it Mr Potato Head?

Stoke v Spurs was exciting.. but there's no call for that, lino! The week's daftest football quotes, plus Howard Webb stars in textbook  Wayne Roone... Read more+

Stoke v Spurs was exciting.. but there's no call for that, lino!

United launch Phil Jones action figure... or is it Mr Potato Head? The week's daftest football quotes, plus Howard Webb stars in textbook  Yes, Stok... Read more+

The week's daftest football quotes, plus Howard Webb stars in textbook

United launch Phil Jones action figure... or is it Mr Potato Head? Stoke v Spurs was exciting.. but there's no call for that, lino!  Congratulations... Read more+

Why it's a dog life at United for Anderson and watch Burnley's brilliant housework video

A Manchester United player craze for Bernese Mountain Dogs has had unfortunate consequences for midfielder Anderson. The talented linguist, who last y... Read more+

Greek god Socrates remembered and why Wolves legend's restaurant is a load of Bull

Socrates, who has died aged 57, lived life to the full. One of his final interviewers recalls how their chat in a restaurant was continually interrupt... Read more+