Andrey Arshavin gets pranked, David James in You Are The Red and the most lethal head in football

By 3pm

Published 18:30 07/03/10

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By Steve Anglesey, Sports Diarist of the Year nominee 2010

Strong suspicions that the Q&A section of Andrey Arshavin’s website has been overtaken by surrealist pranksters.

Last week, the Russian forward was asked: “Have you ever been stung by the bees in the forehead or near the eye?”

And this week comes this magnificent query: “Hi, Andrey, I love Arsenal and helicopters. My friend, Steve, said that he met you once and he said you were very nice but you smelt of coffee. Do you like coffee? He also said that he held your hand. If I met you please could I hold your hand? I promise it will be no longer than for three minutes. Love from Anthony, 28, England.”

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Wrote David James in his newspaper column earlier this season: “As a kid, I used to read You Are The Ref religiously. I was such a geek, I actually memorised all of the stats in the referee's book – round goalposts, oval goalposts, the width of the lines painted on the pitch. I loved all that stuff. I still rememmber some of the more bizarre questions.”

Let’s start with a simple one then, David: In a crucial FA Cup tie, a player heads the ball well over the line and into the goal, but the goalkeeper sneakily claws it back into play. Is the keeper a cheat?

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Clive Tyldesley. Wednesday night, ITV: "Wayne Rooney’s is the most lethal head in English football." Vanessa Perroncel’s, surely?

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