'England have players who can rattle anyone's feathers': 3PM's Daft Quotes Of 2011, Part 1

Happy Christmas from everyone at MirrorFootball! To celebrate, here's part one of Steve Anglesey's Daft Quotes Of The Year from his 3PM column.

'We've shown we're not a one-trick monkey': 3PM's Daft Quotes Of 2011, Part 2  

'What's the biggest fox pass you've ever made?' 3PM's Daft Quotes of 2010, part 1

'When everything goes wrong, it seems like nothing goes right' 3PM's Daft Quotes of 2010, part 2

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"Ireland need fresh impotence" - PHIL BABB

"Is it the case that 50% of West Ham fans want Avram Grant sacked and the other half want him to stay? Or is it the other way around?" - RAY PARLOUR

"We didn't give them any opportunities, but unfortunately they took one" - NEIL WARNOCK

"England have players who can rattle anyone's feathers" - MICHAEL OWEN

“When Gareth Bale opens his legs like that, it’s just a magnificent sight" - GARY NEVILLE

"Every picture paints a thousand words and that one said 'goodbye' " - KEVIN KEEGAN

"What's changed is that nothing's changed" - AIDY BOOTHROYD

"I don't think that this clean sheet was a shut-out" - GLENN HODDLE

"The one thing you get from Martin Allen is honesty. Ask him a question and he'll avoid it" - JASON CUNDY

“Real Madrid came out the traps like a thoroughbred racehorse” – ROB HAWTHORNE

“We've won 10 out of 11. You can't do any better than that” - HARRY REDKNAPP

“Martin O’Neill rules with a rod of fear” – STAN COLLYMORE

"It's Wolves 0, Swansea 2 and that is an accurate scoreline" - ALAN GREEN

"He's a good technician for a big man" - STAN COLLYMORE

"You either love or hate Neil Warnock and I like him" - MATT MURRAY

"Olsson has taken a large portion of Andy Carroll from behind" - SAM MATTERFACE

"Jose Enrique's strength is that he's very strong" - KEVIN KEEGAN

"The first half has gone how I almost half-anticipated" - JIMMY ARMFIELD

"We had a setback against Stoke which set us back a bit" - ROY HODGSON

"Today will open the title race wide back up" - PAUL MERSON

"It's 2-2-all" - MATT LE TISSIER

"Top players don't come much topper than Gerrard and Carragher" - ROBBIE KEANE

 "Arsene took too long to replace those players, and they were irreplaceable" - RAY WILKINS

"His legs have gone and it's time to hang them up"- JOHN HARTSON

"How many people is 1.2billion?" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"Over a season, the decisions spread out" - PAUL MERSON

"This is a rollercoaster of a feast" - MARTIN TYLER

"Barcelona play football to die of"  - MICKY QUINN

Arsenal have been literally passed to death" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

"You don't want to bite your nose off to spite your face" - PAUL MERSON

“Suarez’s hunger for the game seems unquenchable" - ALAN SMITH

"United will break caution to the wind" - GLENN HODDLE

"Blackpool always fly by the skin of their pants" - DAVID MOYES

"Fabregas misses out but Samir Nasri will be the benefactor" JAMIE REDKNAPP

"He decapitated him at the kneecaps" - MICKY QUINN

"A lot of people are jumping on the moral background" - MICKY QUINN

"It definitely would probably have been a pelanty" - CHRIS WADDLE

"I call myself a 100 per center because every week I give 110 per cent" - BRADLEY JOHNSON

“It looked as though he’d damaged ligaments, or had ligament damage”

– IAN DANTER

“When you’re comfortable, and you think you’re comfortable, it’s

uncomfortable” - ROY KEANE

"He'll probably say his quote was lost in transfusion" - ALAN BRAZIL

"He's been active in the transfer windy" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

"That was an absolute goal" - CHRIS KAMARA

"Sturridge showed he can play under the big stages" - GLENN HODDLE

"Alan Pardew has had to juggle his pack" - ALAN MCINALLY

"Belgium's not a hotpot of international football" - ALAN BRAZIL

"Nicky Shorey is the provider but Shane Long has made this all on his own" - CHRIS KAMARA

"The boys' performance today was so good I've run out of expletives to describe it"  - FLEETWOOD'S MICKY MELLON

"One lack of naivety from us and we lost the match" - STEVE BRUCE

"Manchester United will be hoping their bench can come off the bench" - RAY PARLOUR

"The Olympic Stadium running track is a blue elephant" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"It's important the Olympic Stadium gets used and doesn't become a red herring" - GEORGE BURLEY

 "Mancini's got to nail this in the bud" - CHARLIE NICHOLAS

"There were two quick goals... bang, bang, bang" - ALVIN MARTIN

"Spurs are up against one of the top coaches in the world if not one of the best in the world" - AIDY BOOTHROYD

"Anywhere else on the pitch, that was a penalty" - GARY NEVILLE

"West Ham absolutely pitulated in the second half"  - PAUL MERSON

"Charlie Adam has not said a dickie bow" - DARREN GOUGH

"We have 15 irons in the fire, and I mean that literally" - DAVID GOLD

"I want to see the stats for how many crosses there have been; it's been incredulous" - BOBBY GOULD

"We want to win the match in 90 minutes, even if we have to go to extra time to do it" - ALEX McLEISH

"You saw the disappointment on their faces and voices" - KEVIN KEEGAN

"Everyone is sitting on the fence on the edge of their seats" - ALAN SMITH

"I tell you what went well for us in this campaign .. things went well for us" - JOHNNY GILES

"We've had two incidents that weren't very savouryable" - VIV ANDERSON

"Victor Obinna could barely hit a cow's backside with a barn door" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"We have to reduce our expectations of England and we have the players to do it"  - STEVE McCLAREN

"It's a huge honour to wear the number seven at Liverpool. I think about the legends: Dalglish, Keegan and that Australian guy" - LUIS SUAREZ

“You could close your eyes and see a young Iniesta or a young Xavi" - BRIAN MARWOOD

"You only get a second to score a goal in football. In Wolves' case it was 20 seconds" - ALEX McLEISH

"The money players are on these days is immoral, but you can't knock it" - NEIL WARNOCK

"David Silva literally floats around the pitch" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

"When you lose a goal so early, you've always got an uphill mountain" - STEVE CLARIDGE

“Dzeko was accused of throwing his bathwater out of the pram" - JAMES COOPER

"It's end to end stuff... all West Brom" - IAIN DOWIE

"Dave Jones got to the final last year and lost in the semi-final this year, so progress has definitely been made" - PAUL LAMBERT

"If you take that away from him you lose something he definitely has" - IAIN DOWIE

"What a decision from the woman linesman" - PAUL MERSON

"Aston Villa are four points below the drop zone"  - DARREN GOUGH

"No disrespect to Arsenal, but we gave them too much respect" - STEVE KEAN

"If Taraabt isn't on the game, QPR can struggle"  - RICHARD LANGLEY

"That was never a penalty in a million planets" - ALAN McINALLY

"I can't really pin my colours to which mast I am supporting"  - MICKY QUINN

"Landon Donovan is four from four from the penalty spot this season. In other words, he's scored all of them" - IAN DARKE

"Man City needed something and when Johnson did something, something happened" - RUUD GULLIT

"I'm not going to single individuals out but Yakubu has missed loads of great chances" - ALAN BRAZIL

"To win the competition, name one of the colours, red or white, which make up the flag of Peru"  - MICKY QUINN

“I am supposed to take the bullets and absorb them, like a polar bear" - ARSENE WENGER

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