Bobby Gould's daft quote, Wicked Whistle and Chant Of The Week

By 3pm

Published 20:23 29/11/09

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DAFT QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"Manchester United aren't as good as what they are" - BOBBY GOULD

"Manchester City have won a free cock" - PAUL MERSON

"If you want to win the title, one thing you need is consistent consistency" - ARSENE WENGER

"Everton have just had their first shot... it was a header" - PETER BEAGRIE

"The game started five minutes late due to the minute's silence beforehand" - MATT LE TISSIER

WICKED WHISTLES

1) Which much-touted wonderboy is being quietly sidelined by his club because of a booze problem?

2) Which female pundit isn't at her best early in the day? When a male receptionist greeted her with "Morning, love" she cheerily replied, "Don't you f***ing call me 'love'" and flounced off.

3) Which top Premier League striker loves to attend film premieres - but won't get many more invites as he insists on taking his shoes off once the lights go down?

CHANTS FOR PIES

Jay Edwards wins this week's tray of Pukka Pies for this story: "Last Saturday, on an uncovered standing terrace at Yeovil in the wettest conditions for football that I have experienced in forty years, a goal down and reduced to ten men, Charlton fans lifted our spirits with 'Down with pneumonia... we're going down with pneumonia!'"

Now it's your turn to win. Email the funniest chant you've heard at football this week to steve.anglesey@mirror.co.uk together with your name, address and choice of potato & meat, chicken & mushroom, cheese & onion, steak & kidney or all-steak flavours.

Fancy winning £3,000 for FREE this month? Play Mirror Football Streak for your chance to win cash prizes! Start predicting now!