Kevin Davies' toaster in pies for chants, daft quotes of the week and wicked whistles

By 3pm

Published 22:58 21/11/10

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Daft quotes of the week

“There’s the full-time whistle. Chelsea’s woos continue” - Paul Merson

“I hope Joey Barton goes on to have a fabulent season” - Chris Hughton

“Manchester City wanted James Milner so they sent Stephen Ireland to Villa as a lightweight” - Neil Warnock

“Every single player on the pitch is now in the Birmingham box. Apart from two of them” - Paul Merson

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Wicked whistles

Which veteran football administrator fancies himself as an agony aunt? When his son broke the news that his wife had left him, the old boy sensitively replied: “Well my boy, you are obviously not a very good shag”.

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Which much-discussed Premier League rift had its roots in a row between the combatants’ wives at last year’s Christmas party?

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Pies for chants

Bolton striker Kevin Davies admitted this week that he’d burned his Pop Tarts after trying to “funk up” his breakfast. No wonder the Reebok hailed him on Saturday with:

“Super, Super Kev, Cannot work his toaster”.

Send the funniest chant you’ve heard at football this week to steve.anglesey@mirror.co.uk and win a tray of Pukka Pies. Don’t forget to include your address and choice of potato and meat, all-steak, chicken and mushroom, chicken balti or cheese and onion.

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Steve Anglesey's new book '3PM Annual: The Stupidest Football Book Ever' is available now at http://amzn.to/bJoj4O

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