The week's daftest football quotes, plus Howard Webb stars in textbook

By 3pm

Published 20:57 11/12/11

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United launch Phil Jones action figure... or is it Mr Potato Head?

Stoke v Spurs was exciting.. but there's no call for that, lino!  

Congratulations to reader Tom Smith, who spotted Howard Webb (with a hair transplant) in his AQA Politics textbook...

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DAFT QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“Real Madrid came out the traps like a thoroughbred racehorse” – ROB HAWTHORNE

“We've won 10 out of 11. You can't do any better than that” - HARRY REDKNAPP

“Martin O’Neill rules with a rod of fear” – STAN COLLYMORE

"He brought on Mark Hamill on the right... sorry, Adam Hammill. That's Luke Skywalker, innit?" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

“Let’s not gild the lily, or sugar it” – IAN DANTER

 “It looked as though he’d damaged ligaments, or had ligament damage” – IAN DANTER

“I am bound by the fact Jermaine Jenas is not an Aston Villa player to reveal any news about him. It’s not good news. I think Jermaine has ruptured his Achilles and that will take some time to sort out.” - ALEX McLEISH

“When you’re comfortable, and you think you’re comfortable, it’s uncomfortable” - ROY KEANE

“Name a Metallica song? Is Enter Sandro one?” – RONNIE IRANI

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It’s chilly outside but the weekend’s Arsenal anniversary celebrations brought one unexpected thaw as Jens Lehmann and Manuel Almunia – whose feud got so bad they did not speak for several months – were spotted embracing and sharing a joke.

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