'If you don’t want to know the results, look away now' fail and sweary Christmas cheer - Aston Villa style

By 3pm

Published 22:57 02/01/11

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Well done to BBC newsreader Amanda Davies, who remembered to tell the nation “if you don’t want to know the Premier League results, look away now” in the bulletin before MOTD on Saturday night.

Alas the effect of this warning was somewhat lessened when Amanda then, erm, read out the results.

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The festive spirit is alive and well at Aston Villa, where players were asked by the club’s website people to record special Christmas messages for the fans.

One star, presumably channelling Paul Gascoigne’s views on Norway, offered just a cheery: “F*** off!”

Meanwhile James Collins has given yet another insight into Gerard Houllier’s cuddly new regime. He said: “The jacuzzi was the first thing I looked for when I came here. Unfortunately it’s gone now and been replaced with cold baths. That’s not so pleasant - particularly the way the weather has been.”

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THE GODLIKE GENIUS OF TALKSPORT’S MIKE PARRY

MIKE GRAHAM: “You can’t have a bath instantly. It’s something that takes time to fill up.”

MIKE PARRY: “Not necessarily. I’ve got a very high-speed bath filler.”

MIKE GRAHAM: “Have you?”

MIKE PARRY: “Well, a tap.”

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