Liverpool fans need to practice spelling, plus daft quote of the week and pies for chants

By 3pm

Published 19:28 26/09/10

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Liverpool are going through a bad spell at the moment - and so is the critic who daubed graffiti on the outside wall of their Melwood training ground on the night of their Carling Cup defeat to Northampton.

It read: ‘Practise penalties you wancers’. Shame someone didn’t practice spelling at school...

Perhaps the culprit has a part-time job at Birmingham City, where Alex McLeish’s programme notes for the MK Dons game opened with the words: “It was a tail of two halves.” That’s worrying for Big Eck’s dog.

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John Guidetti might have lost on his Manchester City debut at West Brom last week, but the young striker is already a winner.

On the club’s pre-season tour of the USA, Guidetti walked off with top prize at a players’ talent show after singing Shakira’s Waka Waka and performing an Eminem-style rap.

But the confident Swede might have won the minute he strutted on stage and announced to the gathering of stars and staff: “F**k everyone. I am a piece of f***ing white trash and proud of it.”

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Daft quote of the week
“Both Arsene Wenger and I enjoy pitting our witses against each other” - Sam Allardyce

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Pies for chants

Carts from St Albans wins this week’s tray of pies for telling us how Arsenal fans reacted to their derby romp at Tottenham on Wednesay.

Mindful of the quick Spurs release of last year’s derby win, the Gooners taunted their rivals with: “Shall we make a DVD?”

Want to win? Email the funniest chant you’ve heard at football lately to steve.anglesey@mirror.co.uk together with your name, address and choice of potato & meat, chicken balti, cheese & onion, chicken & mushroom, steak & kidney or all-steak flavours.

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