United launch Phil Jones action figure... or is it Mr Potato Head?

Stoke v Spurs was exciting.. but there's no call for that, lino!

The week's daftest football quotes, plus Howard Webb stars in textbook  

Wayne Rooney has revealed that Phil Jones’ nickname in the Manchester United dressing room is Glen Quagmire, after the Family Guy character. Yet others reckon that Jones’ blonde highlights make him look like this item from the Old Trafford Megastore…

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Fears that Newcastle’s annual Christmas party might have been a damp squib without Andy Carroll and Joey Barton seem to have been soothed by this Tweet from Sammy Ameobi at lunchtime yesterday: “Wandering the streets of Glasgow trying to find my way back to the hotel… what a night!”

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Manchester United and England youngster Danny Welbeck’s 21 birthday failed to go with a bang despite team-mate Ashley Young arranging a city centre bash.

No-one knows if news of the do, at The Place in Piccadilly after the Newcastle game, leaked… but a training session was hastily arranged for 8am the next morning!

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WICKED WHISTLE

Which Premier League star defender was bundled out of rapper J Cole’s Manchester gig by security after  “giving it the old 'do you know who I am routine' and throwing money about at the bar staff”?

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williamhill.com

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