How Pippa Middleton made an arse of Joey Barton and Luis Suarez's daft quote of the week

After Joey Barton’s recent Tweets about “mentally deficient, fame-hungry z-list celebs” who would “turn up to the opening of an envelope” helped win him a reported £150,000 advance from Penguin books for his thoughts on life, philosophy and porridge, the QPR midfielder will no doubt be delighted to hear that the same firm have just ordered up a party-planning book from Pippa Middleton… and paid her three times as much.


The rebranding of St James’ Park goes from strength to strength.

Not only was Newcastle’s Sammy Ameobi roundly abused on Twitter when he referred to the ground as “The Arena”, but on Saturday morning the driver of a packed Metro train to the stadium drew a chorus of boos when he advised fans to “alight here for the Sports Direct Arena”.


Daft Quotes of the Week
“You can’t illegislate for that” – PAUL MERSON

"We have to reduce our expectations of England and we have the players to do it" – STEVE McCLAREN

"It's a huge honour to wear the number seven at Liverpool. I think about the legends: Dalglish, Keegan and that Australian guy" – LUIS SUAREZ


Wicked Whistle 1
Which football TV personality’s chat-up line is “you make my willy hard”?


Wicked Whistle 2
Which high-profile chairman of a certain age has appalled his missus by getting a tattoo on his forearm?

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