3PM Pictures: Worst football lookalikes ever and more Talksport ticklers from Alan Brazil

By 3pm

Published 22:02 08/01/12

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Questionable lookalikes have long been an obsession of this column, and so we salute the Susan Scott agency, which offers these unmistakable likenesses of Fabio Capello, John Terry and Mrs David Beckham (above).

Extra points for the dead ringer of Halle Berry, too.

When Wolves play West Brom live on Sky on February 12, watch out for shots of players arriving at Molineux.

We’re used to pictures of players entering grounds wearing outsize headphones and clutching Louis Vuitton manbags, but Steven Fletcher has pledged to appear holding a tatty carrier bag from Farmfoods – a tribute to his comedian pal Kevin Bridges, who does a lengthy routine about customers of the budget frozen food store.

Few Talksport listeners will forget where they were the morning Alan Brazil intoned: “Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don't forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith's.” Or a more recent appearance by recovering alcoholic Kenny Sansom, who let slip he would be signing his autobiography in London's Leadenhall Market later that day and was told: "Get down Brokers wine bar while you're there, Kenny. On second thoughts, don't."

Alas, the curse struck again last week when the great man invited John Hartson to have a bet with him on the outcome of Manchester City v Liverpool, saying: “Whoa, 5/8 John, a fiver on that how about it?"

Hartson’s recent autobiography, in which he confessed to once owing bookies £300,000 and revealed he has given up his pension to pay off his gambling debts, must have passed the thirsty legend by. As must newspaper interviews in which Hartson said: "Some people just can't let it go and they are still hassling me. They are still offering me the opportunity to bet, trying to make a way into my friendship. I don't want to go down that road again.”

Predictably, all is not quiet with Alan Brazil’s former breakfast show partner Mike Parry.

The Everton fanatic now hosts web TV channel Sports Tonight Live and has not only trimmed two stone from the magnificent frame which saw him dubbed ‘Porky’, but is sorting his famously thinning ginger thatch by having Harley Street hair transplant – with the same specialist who returfed the bonce of Parry’s idol, Wayne Rooney.

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