Here's what makes Peter Crouch so freakishly good, plus I'd rather have David Gill than Keith Harris, and no if and butts about Zidane's refusal to apologise to Materazzi

One of the most bizarre football conversations I ever had took place a decade ago in a Brussels Chinese restaurant.It was lunch-time before one of Eng... Read more+

Why Big Sam, not Pulis, is king of the cloggers, plus Cisse will give France the blues and Sir Geoff is a Knight to forget

Arsene Wenger is as wrong to say Arsenal are the only Premier League team given rough-house treatment as he is to say Stoke are the only one dishing i... Read more+

Why Owen's brochure should attract Trading Standards, plus the Wembley way is all wrong, and Townsend's hypocrisy over Terry affair

I've just been digging through some old mail and found that 32-page Michael Owen brochure. The one where it said he was sexier than George Clooney, fa... Read more+

Strip away the cartoon capers and you'll see Bridge was right to quit England, plus the Countdown conundrum I'd love to see Burnley's Clark Carlisle unjumble

It would have been so different if it had been played out in the Scorer cartoon strip.The Gaffer would have called Skipper and Bridgey into his office... Read more+

Lessons of Hughes and Megson show that changing managers in mid-season is madness. Plus Everton's home fire still burning and bully for Bullard

In December Manchester City sacked Mark Hughes and Bolton sacked Gary Megson, despite most observers feeling both managers were doing decent jobs in t... Read more+

Potty Poll is Kalouless over Chelsea penalty ref, Arsenal are still a title threat and Ashley's women are far from blameless

ALL those Chelsea fans still enraged by the cast-iron penalty they weren't awarded at the San Siro should comfort themselves with this knowledge.At le... Read more+

How Fabio could solve all his problems... by playing Four Poofs and a Piano in defence

God knows what Fabio Capello makes of the almost weekly round of sleazy accusations involving his defenders.John Terry and Wayne Bridge are involved i... Read more+

Why Everton fans should forgive Rooney - and he should pledge to rejoin them in five years' time

Wayne Rooney wakes up this morning with the world united in praise of his God-given talent.A few hours later though, as the Manchester United coach pu... Read more+

Why West Ham don't deserve to get the Olympic Stadium and Patrick Vieira v Stoke round two

West Ham deserve to take over the Olympic Stadium after the 2012 Games.If only because it would give them the chance to make the money that would stop... Read more+

Why football fans must take a stand to save their clubs

The next time this column appears there may only be 19 teams left in the Premier League.If it happens it will lead to grief in Portsmouth and shock am... Read more+

Why Man City can't afford to repeat Dunne mistake with Ireland, and bore draws suit Motty

When Roberto Mancini opted for three defensive midfielders with new-boy Adam Johnson ahead of them against Bolton this week, rumours spread that Steph... Read more+

Why we all need bosses like Ancelotti, and Liverpool's marking is now back in the zone

I'm all for over-throwing cliches, so I'd like to enlist your help in de-bunking the myth that there's one rule for the rich and one for the poor. Nex... Read more+

Terrygate just proves the best footballers are ones with the devil inside them; plus the irony of Mancunians idolising a Scouser

Thanks to John Terry there are many things I now know which I didn't a week ago.There won't be a more unfortunately titled, or priced, book out this y... Read more+

Shilts should have saved his Terry outrage... after all, he was caught playing away too

I've really been enjoying the reaction to Terrygate from former players. Dave Bassett's angry response could have been plucked straight out of a scrip... Read more+

Something's wrong when Leeds are in the third tier and fanless Wigan are in the top flight

I've never bought into the over-romanticised cliche about the magic of the FA Cup. Some games are spell-binding, most are quickly forgotten. But this ... Read more+

Fergie, Wenger and co can dish out the stick but they can't take it, plus how I'd save Sunderland's season and why Brian McDermott will save Reading

Some of the world's greatest insults have been spat out by football managers:From Bill Shankly saying if Everton were playing in his garden he'd draw ... Read more+

Why Chelsea have passed their African test, plus Liverpool should adopt United scarves and how 3D is a new boon for plastic fans

Remember in autumn when Chelsea were flying, and every Tom, Dick and Hansen claimed the real test of their title credentials would come in January, wh... Read more+

Why no transfer window activity is good for the game, plus the bin-man who thinks Liam Gallagher is rubbish and a Burnley fan sounds off on Owen Coyle

January's transfer window the following big names moved for fees topping £100 million: Andrei Arshavin, Wayne Bridge, Jermain Defoe, Wilson Palacios, ... Read more+

Why City fans should be nervous over Tevez's obsession with United, plus more gaffers talking rubbish to cover their sides' flaws

Of course Carlos. Now it all becomes clear.When you ran back to the half-way line, cupped your ears and gave a defiant stare at the Manchester United ... Read more+

Why Everton are Premier's most under-rated club, plus a shopping tip for Stoke and Ryan Babel's overlong goodbye

Is there a more patronised big club than Everton?They've been in the top flight longer than any other team, are the last to break up the Big Four, hav... Read more+

Why football fans must rise up to stop being ripped off, plus Wenger's double-standards over Gallas

I agree with my colleague Olly Holt's sentiment that the only way football will stave off death by corporate greed is through fans' solidarity.I, too,... Read more+

For all his faults, at least Tom Hicks Jnr has some balls, plus bring back Souness!

Say what you like about Tom Hicks Jnr but at least he showed balls. In a missive, dripping with crude contempt, he told one of the hundreds of thousan... Read more+