Revealed: The truth about Rafa's Liverpool digs, plus Ronaldo a diver? Surely some mistake!

By Brian Reade

Published 23:01 05/11/10

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It hasn't been a great return to England for Rafa Benitez.

He's had the Mickey taken out of his Inter Milan side by Spurs and out of his florid language by amateur psychiatrists.

The former Liverpool boss was entitled to hit back at Roy Hodgson's digs about the quality of players he'd inherited but some of his prases were lost in translation.

"He can't see a priest on a mountain of sugar" could either be a reference to padres dressing in black or a clever link between paedos and sweets.

But I reckon the line "white liquid in a bottle has to be milk" is a reference to that famous 1980s Ian Rush advert.

Benitez has looked at most of the players Liverpool have signed since he left and believes if they keep on drinking their milk they may one day be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.

Accrington Stanley? Who are they?

Exactly.

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A red-hot contender for commentator's Quote of The Year came during this week's AC Milan v Real Madrid game, when Cristiano Ronaldo fell to the deck like a sack-load of stolen bling, clutching his face, after being brushed on the chest:

"There's no way he would have got away with that ham acting under Sir Alex Ferguson" said Sky's Rob Palmer.

As fans of ever English club yelled at the screen: "Only for six bleedin' years, mate."

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There is much "sacre bleu-ing" across the Channel over the lawyer of sacked coach Raymond Domenech demanding £2.5 million compo from the French Football Federation.

Domenech's army of critics say he not only led their country to disgrace in the last World Cup but no-one should be so obscenely rewarded for failure.

I say had Fabio Capello's lawyer asked the FA for a £2.5 million pay-off after the South African shambles they'd have seen it as a bargain not an obscenity and snapped his hand off.

Vive le difference .

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