Will Fergie do a Ghandi at the Bridge after agent Torres stops United's 19th title charge?

By Brian Reade

Published 23:01 25/02/11

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Eric Cantona has said of his old boss Alex Ferguson: “He is like Gandhi.”

And it is easy to see the similarities between the two peace-loving, tyrant-loathing souls who denounce all conflict and believe that non-violence is the best way to solve problems.

Indeed if Manchester United lose by a controversial decision at Stamford Bridge on Tuesday I can see Fergie standing before the Press and quietly mouthing the Gandhi quote: “whenever you are confronted by an opponent conquer him with love.”

Before adding with a phlegm-coated blast: “Now away and write yer ******* sh***, while I go back in there and give those useless ***** the hair-dryer.”

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What are the chances of Fernando Torres breaking his duck for Chelsea against Manchester United on Tuesday, dedicating it to Liverpool fans, vowing he'll score again at Old Trafford and telling them: "My main reason for moving to Chelsea was to stop United moving on to 19 League titles. I hope you will all now understand and forgive me"?

Put it this way, it's his only shot at redemption.

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Journalists have no right to ridicule phrases used by footballers.

Not when they persist in churning out the kind of cliches normal people never use, like "scored with aplomb, predatory instincts" and my latest hate "the business end of proceedings."

But what was John Terry's warning to his team-mates before the game in Copenhagen to "man-up" all about?

I've heard of "man-on" but never "man-up". I'm guessing it was a warning that unless they lift their game other men will be bought and have their salaries "upped" to replace them.

If so, he certainly appealed to the right part of their brain. And it worked.

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