Why Fergie won't sell Nani, potential Everton investor alert, and why Jonny Evans red card escape was result of karma

By Brian Reade

Published 05:00 14/11/09

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Jaap Stam, Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooy all bad-mouthed Fergie. David Beckham didn't open his mouth but publicly paraded his stitches after a boot was kicked at his head, to show the world what a bully Fergie was. And all four were instantly shown the door on the grounds that no single player, no matter how good they are, can be allowed to question his authority.

Now Nani has done it too. But I doubt whether Fergie will show him the door straight away. On the grounds that he hasn't learned how to hit a door with a banjo, so he'd get the square root of sod all back for his £17million flop.

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Memo to Sean Connor, the 32-year-old IT worker who scooped £6.5million on the Lottery and said he wants to buy a box at Everton and invest in property in South Africa. Expect a letter soon from Bill Kenwright persuading you to buy a box of South African wine and investing the rest in Everton.

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There were a few dodgy decisions at Stamford Bridge last Sunday. But at least one of them was well worth getting wrong. Johnny Evans full-studded assault on Didier Drogba's chest, which saw him hit the deck like a sack of dung, writhe in agony and shake his legs like a porn star faking a direct hit on her G-spot. Then getting booked for his performance, while Evans escaped censure. As they say, what rolls around, comes around.