The truth is out there... Fergie is an alien

By David Anderson

Published 09:17 24/02/10

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One of the most stunning revelations from the UFO files published last week was the account of a policeman who claimed he saw some bright lights hovering above Stamford Bridge.

What the files did not disclose was an even more shocking claim that a huge shimmering object was seen landing at Old Trafford 24 years ago.

What makes his even more intriguing is that the incident took place on the night of November 6, 1986 - the day Sir Alex Ferguson was appointed Manchester United manager.

The theory that Fergie is some alien from another galaxy has much credence.

That acclaimed documentary on aliens living incognito on earth, called Men in Black, lifted the lid on how they have blended in to society.

However some cannot make the transition completely and in Fergie's case there are some obvious pointers.

Fergie needs just five hours sleep and is often at work at Carrington when all of his highly-paid stars are still asleep.

The last high-profile person to make such a bold claim was Maggie Thatcher - and we all know she wasn't human.

Then there is Fergie's incredible drive to succeed. Any normal person is eventually worn down by the pressures of managing at the highest level and Ferguson has seen off Brian Clough, Kenny Dalglish, George Graham, Howard Kendall, Howard Wilkinson and Graeme Souness to name just a few.

But there he is, still as determined and driven as ever at 68.

The only solution is that he must be nuclear powered and scientists believe it is possible for a life form to evolve to such a degree that they could contain tiny reactors.

Hence the reason why he is never tired and never losses his appetite for more trophies.

Experts are not sure which planet Fergie may be from, but the general consensus is that it must be Govan in a far off part of the solar system.

Their species shout and swear a lot and continually point to their watches and berate each other over their timekeeping.

Perhaps their greatest skill is their ability to alter time.

It is believed Fergie has used this power twice - first in January 1990 and then in May 1999.

On that first occasion at Nottingham Forest's City Ground he changed the course of history so that Mark Robins scored his famous winner to keep him in a job.

Then at the Nou Camp, he did it again and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Teddy Sheringham scored in stoppage time to complete the Treble.

In doing so, he created a parallel world and in that dimension, he is a barman in Glasgow, having been sacked last season by Stenhousemuir.

So watch out for another shift in the time-space continuum this season if the title race goes to the wire.

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