Did he really say that? No, of course he didn't... he's a football manager

By David Anderson

Published 10:30 28/10/09

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Fergie's shock apology to Alan Wiley and the FA got me thinking about what we would like managers to say in a candid moment, but know they never will.

Sir Alex Ferguson: "We lost fair and square. There's no way I can blame the referee, his assistants, the pitch, the new balls, the lights, our grey away strip, UEFA, FIFA, England, the credit crunch, global warming, God......."

Arsene Wenger: "Of course I saw it. I had a great view from where I was standing. My player fouled him and deserved to give away the penalty and be sent off."

Harry Redknapp: "Us qualify for the Champions League? You're having a laugh!"

Rafa Benitez: "We stuck it up you, Fergie! Fact!"

David Moyes: "Liverpool are a much bigger club than Everton."

Steve Bruce: "I wish I was Newcastle manager."

Ian Holloway: "I talk complete c**p."

Roy Keane: "How I am still in a job?"

Paul Hart: "Does anyone have any idea what's going on here because I don't?"

Neil Warnock: "Didn't the ref have a great game? I think managers should lay off refs."

Carlo Ancelotti: "And I thought keeping Silvio Berlusconi was tough!"

Phil Brown: "I'm a complete fraud."

Gary Megson: "What a shower our fans are. I don't know why I bother keeping them up every year."

Sam Allardyce: "I think the BBC makes great programmes and provides excellent value for the licence fee payer."

Mark Hughes: "We're buying success."

Alex McLeish: "Carson Yeung may have the dosh, but I miss Karren Brady's legs."

Tony Pulis: "Don't I look as silly as William Hague did in my baseball cap?"

Nigel Clough: "If only my dad had been a rubbish manager."

Fabio Capello: "Fifty million people in England and not a decent goalkeeper among them."

Sven Goran Eriksson: "Can you believe that I've landed on my feet yet again after messing up?"