Why Liverpool should be braced for 99 Red Balloons against Manchester United on Sunday

By David Maddock

Published 13:55 20/10/09

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Liverpool say that normal rules about bringing objects into the stadium will apply on Sunday, and fans will be searched randomly in conjunction with this policy.

Given the fact that bargain 'beach sets', reduced from £20 to just £10, have completely sold out at the club's online store since Saturday night, it is safe to assume that one of the banned items will be a certain, large, red beach ball.

The thing about inflatable beach balls though, is that they can also be deflated. And reduced to very, very small packages. And hidden rather easily about the person. And smuggled in to just about any venue. Including football grounds. Even heavily stewarded football grounds.

Now, I'm not an expert on the consumer trends of northern England, but I'd hazard a guess that some of those bargain beach sets snapped up over the weekend made their way to addresses in the proximity of the Manchester area. And, let's face it, to addresses in the proximity of the greater London area as well.

So when Manchester United visit Anfield on Sunday, expect - no doubt at some crucial stage during the game - a spectacular avalanche of huge, spherical objects to cascade down from the corner of the Anny Road end.

The beach set also contains a towel, which offers a suggestion for Anfield's resident DJ as he searches for appropriate music to play during the most eagerly anticipated contest of the English football season.   

Nena, that wonderfully hirsute German chanteuse (who, it is a little known fact, was a closet Crewe Alexandra fan after studying at South Cheshire College in her youth), should provide the backdrop to the big game on Sunday. What better soundtrack than her all-time classic 99 Red Balloons? 

It's gonna be great isn't it? And given her undoubted genius, Nena has a lyric to sum up the magnificent rivalry between these two remarkable clubs. "This is what we've waited for/This is it, boys, this is war". Bring it on, 99 red balloons and all.

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