Mike Walters Meets: Julian Dicks

Julian Dicks never knowingly side-footed a penalty when thrashing it was an option, and his tackles could make your eyes water.

So when the 'Terminator' was forced to quit football with a skeletal knee, and retreated fromWest Ham to the Hacienda del Alamo to try his luck as a golfer on the professional circuit in Spain, the pitching wedge never stood a chance.

Comeonyouirons? Without desecrating golf course etiquette in public, Dicks would occasionally rearrange the clubs in his bag like a rock star trashing a hotel room.

So the earnest but struggling players at non-league Wivenhoe Town are unlikely to take any liberties with their Crown Jules when Dicks makes his debut as a manager at King's Lynn today.

After his Spanish adventure among the next generation of Sevvy and Sergio wannabes, the Hammers legend might find it a bit parky in the dugout when the wind whips in off the Wash.

But it will be a change of pace after the joys and frustrations of trying to deposit a small projectile in a hole 500 yards away.

"Yeah, I smashed my golf clubs - not in competition, only in practice," said Dicks, 40. "It's a wonderful sport, but it's also the most soul-destroying game on earth.

"My knee has done for me as a golf professional just as it did for me as a footballer.

"I can only do nine or 10 holes at a time, and I'm lucky that football management has come along and given me a chance to try something different.

"I'm not kidding myself that it's going to be easy because Wivenhoe have lost nine onthespin. But I'm not nervous - I've faced bigger, uglier challenges than this, like going to Old Trafford and having 60,000 people calling me a fat b*****d."

Dicks, whose shaven bonce and bone-shuddering commitment belied his genial nature off the pitch, managed to sustain his playing days through seven knee operations and a warm bath before every game to lubricate his creaking patella.

And how West Ham, facing points deductions and £50million invoices for alleged skulduggery the Premier League thumb twiddlers should have addressed two years ago, could do with his warrior mentality now.

But the 'Terminator' admitted: "The only thing Imissabout Premier League football is playing at Upton Park and one day, I would like to go back as manager."

Between assignments at Wivenhoe Dicks will keep a beady eye on the Hammers' fortunes - and he can still spot a strolling mercenary a country mile away.

"I've watched many games where I've seen players on 30, 40, 50 grand a week and they have just been going through the motions, they don't give a toss," he added.

"Some of them aren't good enough to be in the Conference, let alone the Premier League. The biggest crime is to take home a fat wage when you haven't earned it."