What might REALLY happen at Arsene Wenger's UEFA disciplinary hearing...

UEFA DISCIPLINARY HEARING, NYON, SWITZERLAND: 17TH MARCH 2011

Michel Platini (Prosecutor): Monsieur Wenger, how did you view the incident in the 56th minute involving Robin Van Persie?

Arsene Wenger: Well, I was at the side of the pitch as usual and could not believe what I saw.

Platini: That is most unusual because you normally fail to see anything on the field of play despite having the best view of anyone.

Wenger: The referee was arrogant and appointed by this dictatorship.

Platini: Not as haughty as you claiming that you would have won the game if RVP had stayed on, when you had been totally outplayed!

Wenger: But we were ready to send on Niklas Bendtner!

Platini: That simply proves you have lost the plot. I hereby recommend that you are found guilty of behaving like a schoolboy and for being a really bad loser. You will be fined 3 million Swiss francs (about £4.60) and must not face the pitch for three matches in Europe.

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williamhill.com

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